245: The Killjoy Cycle

Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy

Cloud10

Sexuality, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.5 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 28 August 2020

⏱️ 29 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Let's talk about “killjoy” – the negative cycle that squashes the love life is so many millions of couples out there and how we can name it, notice it and do it differently. Sexual discrepancies are the most common thing we're going to see over 80% of couples are going to find themselves in a dynamic where one wants more than one wants less. In his marriage, George calls the negative cycle “California" and Laurie calls it “Drowning” with her swimmer husband. But there's something really fun about naming the negative cycle, the merry-go-round Groundhog Day, whatever word you want to come up with. The beautiful thing about doing this is it starts to externalize the problem. The problem isn't Joe. The problem isn't Mary. The problem is the dynamics that they've unconsciously created in this attempt to be with each other. George and Laurie role play a new way of communicating in “killjoy”! Please support us by ordering Uberlube at Uberlube.com with the coupon "foreplay". Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Seeking the Truth Never Gets Old.
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0:19.3	the excitement never ends. Download June's Journey Now on your Android or iOS device or play on PC through Facebook
0:28.1	games.
0:29.1	The following content is not suitable for children.
0:32.5	Let's talk about Kill Joy, the negative cycle.
0:37.5	Okay.
0:38.5	That squashes the love life of so many millions of couples out there and how we can get them to name that
0:45.2	notice it and do it differently. How's that sad Lori? Sounds good.
0:50.8	Welcome to Four Play Radio, Couples in Sex Therapy. I'm Lori Watson, your sex therapist.
0:58.0	And I'm George Fallon, the Couples therapist.
1:01.0	And we are passionate about talking about sex and helping you develop a way to talk to each other.
1:06.0	Our mission is to help our audience develop a healthier relationship to sex that integrates the mind, the heart, and the body.
1:16.4	Just as we begin, please remember to check out UberLube.com is where you can get this
1:21.9	great lubricant and help support 4-play radio.
1:25.0	All right.
1:26.0	A typical pattern we're going to see is therapists, you know, trying to get couples to start
1:31.0	seeing a bigger picture, start to see the dynamics they're caught
1:35.1	instead of just seeing their own kind of experience. So let's call
1:41.0	Mary and Joe. Mary Marion Joe.
	...

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