244. I Didn't Know How to Be Sexy
Female by Design
Francie Winslow
4.9 • 686 Ratings
🗓️ 17 November 2025
⏱️ 16 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
If sex has ever felt like something you're supposed to perform, instead of something you can enjoy, you're not alone.
If you've ever felt awkward in your body… unsure how to initiate… or disconnected from desire… this episode is for you.
Francie shares the tender, true story of how she moved from disconnection and insecurity into a deeper sense of embodiment, pleasure, and playful confidence in her marriage.
"I used to think sexy was something I had to put on. But now I know, it's something I carry when I'm connected to myself."
You'll discover:
Why feeling "off" or uncertain in your body is more common than you think
How to gently reawaken pleasure and presence (even after years of disconnection)
What it looks like to cultivate feminine energy and confidence in your own way
Simple, grace-filled ways to start feeling more at home in your body and more alive in your marriage
This isn't about pressure or performance. It's about reclaiming the goodness God designed for you… body, heart, and soul.
✨ Want to take the next step?
Join Francie's new 90-minute masterclass: Becoming Confident with Sexy Talk, your guide to finding your voice before, during, and after intimacy.
Resources and Invitation to Go Deeper:
Growth Courses
101 Strong Foundations for Married Sex, here
201 Pleasure and Orgasm: Passion and Practicals, here
Before (And After) I Do, here
Get Connected Inside the Circle Group Mentorship
Keep learning and get direct access to Francie! Join the Circle group mentorship. Inside the Circle, we talk practicals and get support to grow. Learn more here: The Circle
Donate to keep the message moving:
Your one time donation will allow us to continue to produce and distribute teaching and resources. Thank you for partnering with us! Donate here.
Connect with Francie:
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the Female by Design podcast, an honest space for female flourishing. |
| 0:09.6 | I'm Francie Winslow. |
| 0:11.7 | Together we'll explore sexuality and spirituality by God's design, healing our relationship |
| 0:18.7 | with pleasure, our bodies, and our identity as beloved image bearers. |
| 0:24.7 | So let's take a deep breath and step into God's invitation to live fully alive as women, mind, body, and spirit. |
| 0:35.7 | I'm so glad you're here. |
| 0:41.0 | Hey, everybody. I am so glad to be with you today. |
| 0:47.3 | As you have heard, this is the Female by Design podcast where we are having honest conversations about sexuality and spirituality and what it means to be a woman made in the image of God. |
| 0:52.6 | So I wanted to go back to early parts of my story |
| 0:56.1 | and tell you a little bit about my thoughts about what it means to be sexy. Because as I was |
| 1:01.5 | reflecting on my story and thinking about how God has moved in my life, healed me, restored me, |
| 1:08.0 | I remember this funny experience of being a newlywed, and I wonder if you will |
| 1:12.6 | resonate based on your experiences as a young wife, and maybe you are a young wife, and maybe |
| 1:17.6 | this connects. So this conversation is all about what it means to be, quote, sexy. Yeah, let's dive |
| 1:24.9 | right in. As is our practice, I would love for you to find some good posture where you open up your chest, pull back your shoulders, find a relaxed space where you can remember that you have a good body and that your body is made to receive the love of God, to walk in alignment with his design, which is openness and receptivity and to be |
| 1:48.0 | filled with his spirit. So a hand on a chest, maybe hand on your tummy and take a deep, |
| 1:54.3 | filling, nourishing breath in. Exhale out. Thank you, God. I love to make my breath's prayers where i breathe in and say something |
| 2:07.9 | like you're faithful and good just reminds me that connection point between our bodies and our spirits that we are |
| 2:20.2 | one unit before God. |
| 2:22.8 | We're not spiritual beings. |
| 2:25.3 | We are embodied image bearers and that that is by God's wisdom and God's good design. |
| 2:30.0 | And he longs to fill us completely mind, body, and spirit with an awareness of him and his wisdom. |
... |
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