Welcome back. This is savvy psychologist. I'm Dr. Ellen Hendrickson and I'll help you

meet life's challenges with evidence-based research, a sympathetic ear, and zero judgment.

Today we'll tackle toxic masculinity, which is best described as a box.

It's narrow, rigid, and men have to contort themselves to fit inside it. But toxic

masculinity doesn't just stifle men, it limits us all. So whether you are a man, love a man, or raising a small person who will someday be a man, it pays to review the rules of the toxic masculinity game and decide whether you think it's time for a rewrite.

Because these rules are strict and seem better suited for an Easter Island statue than a human.

Some of them include suffer pain in silence, have no needs, don't depend on anyone, don't do anything

that could be construed as weakness, never lose, never snitch, and show no emotions other than bravado or rage.

And according to the rules, if you don't fit in the man box, you pay the price.

At best, you risk invisibility.

And at worst, you risk disrespect, bullying, or even violence.

Now, unsurprisingly, this scramble for dominance and denial of emotion comes at great cost. Toxic masculinity makes aggression look like a reasonable

way to solve problems, which in turn drives domestic and sexual violence. Drug and alcohol

abuse become go-to methods to drown out feelings.

And because toxic masculinity forbids asking for help,

it rules out going to the doctor or the ultimate no-no,

a mental health professional.

Toxic masculinity even invades life's small pleasures.

To paraphrase the comedian Bill Burr,

the man box means you can't admit a baby is cute,

hug a puppy, say you want a cookie, order banana

pancakes or carry an umbrella in the rain. Get those shoulders up. Now there is a difference between traditional masculinity and toxic

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