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I Have ADHD Podcast

240 A Beginner’s Guide to ADHD, Part 4: Relationship Dynamics

I Have ADHD Podcast

Kristen Carder

Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Education, Mental Health

4.82.8K Ratings

🗓️ 5 December 2023

⏱️ 25 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Have you noticed that your relationships look different than other people? Friendships and partnerships are harder for adults with ADHD, largely due to the fact that we’re highly sensitive to rejection.

Research has shown that ADHDers have experienced more rejection than their neurotypical peers. This results in several relational tendencies that can lead to toxic dynamics.

Because they know how awful it feels for people to be upset with them, they constantly say yes to other people, even when their plate is already full. They spend time with people who don’t fill their cups. They exhaust themselves by overcommitting to avoid the feeling of rejection.

Adults with ADHD also tend to dismiss red flags and not hold others accountable for their flaws because they know they’re also hard to live with (they’re often late, they talk too much, they’re impatient, etc.).

These tendencies can result in some truly toxic, boundaryless relationships. But there are things you can do to change the dynamic and put yourself in the driver’s seat of your relationships.

In this episode, I’m giving an overview of relationship dynamics with ADHD. You’ll leave with several immediate steps you can take to create a healthier view of relationships.

And, if you want an in-depth look at how ADHD can impact your relationships, be sure to check out my four-part series (starting at episode 178) on relationships and ADHD or my series on rejection-sensitive dysphoria (beginning at episode 204).

If you’re feeling really inspired after listening today, I encourage you to join my group coaching program, FOCUSED. In 2024, I’ll be teaching brand new content on how to have self-trust even when you have ADHD. You don’t want to miss out!

Come hang out with me on Instagram HERE

AG1 Athletic Greens

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to the I have ADHD podcast where it's all about education, encouragement and

0:11.2

coaching for adults with ADHD.

0:13.5

I'm your host Kristen Carter and I have ADHD.

0:17.5

Let's chat about the frustrations, humor, and challenges

0:21.1

of adulting, relationships, working, and achieving with this neurodevelopmental disorder.

0:27.0

I'll help you understand your unique brain, unlock your potential, and move from point A to point B.

0:34.0

Hey what's up, this is Kristen Carter and you are listening to the I have

0:40.8

ADHD podcast. I'm medicated, I am regulated and I'm so ready to roll.

0:46.8

Let's go let's get started. Let's get moving. Glad you're here. Glad I'm here. I do have to admit that I'm recording this on the day before Thanksgiving

0:58.0

and my brain is hyper-focused on a turkey right now.

1:02.0

That's where my brain is. is hyper-focused on a turkey right now.

1:02.8

That's where my brain is.

1:04.8

By the time you listen to this, you're not going to care at all

1:07.8

because it's going to be two weeks past Thanksgiving.

1:09.7

You're going to be like, why does this pertain to me?

1:11.7

Let me tell you something, it doesn't pertain to you, okay?

1:15.4

It pertains to me.

1:16.5

But in order for me to actually get myself to do this podcast,

1:21.6

I just have to be open and honest and vulnerable and say my

1:24.7

brain is thinking about Turkey and the fact that I followed the directions to a T of

1:31.5

defrosting a 13 pound turkey and it's still not fully defrosted.

1:36.5

So now it's sitting in a pot of water and apparently you're supposed to change the water

...

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