We want to be praise, we want to be praiseworthy, I want to get a candle.

I'm Angela Duckworth.

I'm Stephen Dubner, and you're listening to No Stupid Questions.

Today on the show, why do we forget some of our favorite books?

We don't always remember what we remember.

Also, do we overestimate our significance in other people's lives?

This is so forward.

He's just arrived, and he wants to come join our group.

Stephen, I've been thinking about a conversation that we had about a tree grows in Brooklyn. Do you recall this conversation?

I do recall that. You said you loved that book, loved, loved it, but you couldn't remember a single thing about it.

Yeah, so I thought you might have even forgotten the conversation about how I had forgotten. But anyway, my point is that it's a really interesting thing that people can read books that they absolutely love so much that they're like evangelical.

They're trying to get everyone to read this book.

And then when you ask that person, oh, well, what's it about?

There's this long pause because like me, they have no idea at all.

Who the protagonists were, the plot, was it a tragedy?

They just have this residue of emotion that says, I loved the experience of this book.

And it makes me think of that, actually, I don't think it's actually a Maya Angelou quote. People may forget what you said, but they'll never forget how you made them feel. I don't think Maya Angelou said that, but I do think it's an interesting question, whether we may forget what is in a book, but we don't forget how it made us feel. What do you think? There's a nice thought on this topic that resonated with me. Pamela Paul,

who's the editor of the New York Times book review. She says, when I'm reading a book that I even really

like, I remember the physical object, the addition, the cover says, I usually remember where I bought

it or who gave it to me, which to me is really

lovely and important information. What I don't remember, she writes, is everything else. So what's in the book?

So I don't think that this is uncommon. Do you have those kind of connections to books?

...