23andMe Is Lying To You w/ Kurt Metzger | First Date with Lauren Compton

First Date with Lauren Compton

YMH Studios

Sexuality, Comedy, Relationships, Society & Culture, Comedy Interviews, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 900 Ratings

🗓️ 28 October 2025

⏱️ 50 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

SPONSORS: - Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at https://shopify.com/date - Get organized, refreshed, and ready for the holidays for way less. Head to https://Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Kurt Metzger joins Lauren Compton for a brutally funny first date that spirals into chaos—soulmates, breakup logic, and why people can't remember Taylor Swift Concerts. Kurt takes Lauren down some insane conspiracy theory rabbit holes and finishes off with a crazy story about a homeless drug addict he scared the life out of. Follow Kurt Metzger: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kurtmetzgercomedy/?hl=en Twitter/X: https://x.com/kurtmetzger? YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@kurtmetzgercomedy Website: http://www.kurtmetzgercomedy.com First Date Ep. 123 https://www.tiktok.com/@iamlaurencompton https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:26 - Meeting The Lady 00:03:42 - Reasons For Breaking Up 00:06:08 - Best First Date Idea 00:08:56 - Soulmate Ruined 00:12:41 - Kurt's Pet Peeves 00:18:10 - Kurt At The Emmy's 00:22:24 - 23&Me Lied 00:25:03 - What If You Were Single? 00:29:35 - Taylor Swift Amnesia Syndrome 00:33:21 - Kurt's Conspiracy Theories 00:37:25 - Pussy Takes Work 00:38:57 - Kurt's Hobo Fight Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	I'm so excited to see you tonight.
0:06.0	First date, baby.
0:10.0	First date.
0:11.0	I can't wait.
0:14.0	First date.
0:19.0	Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of First Date. My guest today is a hilarious comedian that you can see on the Jimmy Dora show. You can also check him out on Dirk with Kurp. Or you can go to his website, Kirt Metzger, Comedy.com, to see him on the road. Give it up for Kurt Metzker. Thank you. Thank you. Welcome to the show. Thanks. What's the premise of this show? I know it's called first date. I'm going to find out what it's like to date you. And what? All right. I didn't know. I mean, if this date works out, does the show break up with my girlfriend for me? No. You're still stuck with her. But at least we know what it's like to date you.
0:56.2	That doesn't mean we want to date you.
0:57.2	Why do you call the show cheating then? Well, because this is like... No, don't break up your girl. We're just going to see what it's like to date you. That's called cheating, you know, whatever. I mean, I'm... But there's no physical contact.
1:08.8	Oh, all right.
1:09.4	So it's like a Korean muckbang kind of thing.
1:11.3	I get it.
1:12.2	They don't have human.
1:14.0	They crave human. There's no physical contact. Oh, all right. So it's like a Korean muckbang kind of thing.
1:11.4	I get it.
1:12.2	They don't have human.
1:14.0	They crave human interaction.
1:16.2	How long have you been with your girlfriend?
1:19.1	Like three, three years maybe.
1:21.2	Okay, yeah, you're stuck with her.
1:23.1	Yeah, it's fun.
1:24.1	How'd you guys meet?
1:26.5	I was at a comedy show, uh, called Hard Lemonade.
	...

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