I can't introduce the podcast when you've got children screaming in the background.

What's happening?

It's just before Christmas, Ian, and children are excited and

excitable, and it's lovely to have children's laughter on our podcast as opposed to the usual old

bitter, satirical stuff that we do. Can't you just open your front door and tell them to go,

shut up? No, you're horrible.

Do your Wicked Witch of the West Act, which I know you've perfected.

Anyway, we should welcome all our many listeners to our much-awaited annual awards podcast where you and I award...

Oh, my God.

Needless to say, the little boy is making more noise than the little girl.

Yeah, it's probably because she's kicking him in the balls, no doubt.

No, no, she isn't.

They're adorable.

Anyway, welcome to our awards podcast.

We have quite a few awards to get through. Not quite so many as the previous years, because we thought that they dragged on a bit before. For goodness sake, I've still got a few presents to buy. Have you? Well, how can you do that? A couple of things. Oh, no, of course, you're not in Tier 4, are you?

Oh, sorry, I'm in Tier 2, darling.

Isn't it funny how we've got Tier Snobbery now? We in Tier 4 are considered the lowest of the low and the dregs of society. You're the untouchables. Whereas I am practically tier one because to be honest, I can see tier one

from here over the Moulvern Hills. So I am like, I am the cleanest of all.

You know, in 2025 when somebody's listening back to this, you think tears, what were tears?

Well, at least I hope they are. Otherwise, we're going to be in for a horrible few years, aren't we? Um, anyway, I think we should crack on with our awards, don't you?

Yes. Right. We're going to build up to our crescendo award, because I know how you like to

build up to a crescendo. Um, And that's our politician of the year.

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