#233: Overcoming Perfectionism with Vitale Buford Hardin

The Mark Groves Podcast

Mark Groves

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.9 • 5K Ratings

🗓️ 19 September 2022

⏱️ 40 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Themes: Perfectionism, Excellence, Career, Authenticity, Self-Compassion, Self-Worth Summary: This week I’m pumped to be joined by my good friend, Vitale Buford Hardin who is a top leadership consultant, driver of leadership excellence, and CEO of The Hardin Group, a leadership consulting firm. Tune in as we unpack perfectionism, why it manifests, how it affects us in the workplace and within our relationships, and ultimately how to actually heal from it. Vitale believes that “who we are is how we lead,” so the real leadership work begins with ourselves. Vitale brings her training and concepts to life in a fun and relatable way, empowering teams and companies to transform the way they work, produce, and relate. She is an iPEC-certified executive coach, trainer, award-winning speaker, and author. Featured in The New York Times, she is the author of the book, Addicted to Perfect, detailing her struggle with perfectionism and how she overcame it. Discover: What perfectionism is and the different ways in which it can manifest The root cause of perfectionism The first step in detaching from the need to be perfect How companies and leaders can actually benefit from addressing and healing perfectionism in the workplace 00:00 Intro 00:46 What is perfectionism? 02:55 Why we chase perfection 05:30 Detaching from perfectionism 07:37 Perfectionism in the workplace 12:06 How it affects innovation 17:47 Are men or women more prone to perfectionism? 21:27 Perfectionism in relationships 28:00 Compassion and perfectionism can’t coexist 30:34 Excellence instead of perfectionism 32:23 Vitale’s struggle with perfectionism Links: Book | Addicted to Perfect: A Journey Out of the Grips of Adderall Website | The Hardin Group LinkedIn | Vitale Buford Hardin Sponsors: Cured Nutrition | Use code CREATETHELOVE for 20% all products at curednutrition.com/createthelove Organifi | Use code CREATETHELOVE for 20% off all products at organifi.com/createthelove Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Transcript

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0:00.0	If we do not deal with the perfectionism problem in our corporate America and just, again, 92% of people are impacted by some form of perfectionism.
0:08.4	If we're not dealing with the root of the issue, then none of the other stuff is going to stick.
0:13.2	Hi, I'm Mark Groves. I'm a human connection specialist and founder of Create the Love.
0:18.1	At an early point in my life, I became obsessed with understanding
0:21.4	relationships, the intricacies of how people connect. And through this exploration, I have created
0:27.5	a life and a business dedicated to learning out loud and exploring how we interact with each other
0:32.8	and the world. This podcast brings the world's top thought leaders, spiritual luminaries, physicians,
0:38.7	scientists, researchers, bestselling authors and health and wellness experts under one roof
0:43.7	to discuss the good, the bad, the messy, and of course the beautiful parts of the human
0:49.1	experience. Welcome to the Mark Groves podcast. I can't wait to dive in with you.
1:01.4	Hello and welcome to another episode of the Mark Groves podcast.
1:07.0	I am so pumped to have my good friend Vatali Beauford Hardin, Beaufort. Buford.
1:07.8	Okay. We just practiced this a bunch of times and then I got it wrong again. But that's, I'm not a perfectionist, which we're going to talk about. Exactly. Which sets us up nicely, not even planned. Although I do want to get your name right because to honor, you know, and congratulations, married, all the things. Thank you. I'm excited to be here today.
1:28.8	Yeah, I'm excited to have you, this subject of perfectionism.
1:31.7	You know, I see so much of this conversation.
1:34.0	I know this impacts relationships, but it impacts individuals so much.
1:38.9	And so can you speak to maybe how that presents?
1:42.7	Because maybe not someone who might be a perfectionist,
1:45.7	but not identify as one, just the collection of behaviors, that kind of thing.
1:49.7	So perfectionism is when we define ourselves externally, right?
1:53.7	When our self-worth is defined by internal and external pressures.
1:57.5	It's when we are outsourcing our self-worth, our intuition, and our decision-making to
	...

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