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Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

230. “We spend 168% of what we make. What are we missing?”

Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Ramit Sethi

Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing, Business

4.63.1K Ratings

🗓️ 14 October 2025

⏱️ 108 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Amy (32) and John (40) are raising two young kids in Canada, earning a solid $155,000 a year. But with $768,181 in debt and fixed costs at 168% of their income, every month feels like a losing battle. Two years ago, John hid hundreds of thousands in business tax debt from Amy—what she calls “financial infidelity.” Since then, trust has been fragile, money is tight, and they often feel like they’re fighting on “two separate life rafts.” Amy’s trying to rebuild their future, but when more than HALF of their monthly income goes immediately towards debt, they’re struggling to find a path forward. Can Ramit help them bridge the gap between good intentions and hard numbers—and finally get on the same team? In this episode we uncover: • How their fixed costs rose to 168% of their income • Why John hid his business tax debt, which shattered Amy’s trust • How years of financial strain forced Amy to shoulder household finances alone • How Amy’s volatile income and John’s shrinking business payouts created a $4,000 deficit • John’s Dreamer attitude collides with the harsh math of his monthly debt payments • The emotional impact of having no safety net • Amy’s plan to launch a new business vs. John’s struggle to keep his afloat • Why managing risk isn’t about optimism • Amy’s frustration with carrying the mental and emotional load of finances while John “focuses on income” • Ramit’s direct call for decisive leadership and clear planning to get out of financial free fall Chapters: (00:00:00) “He spent two years hiding his debt from me” (00:18:03) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:26:27) “I was humiliated driving that Tesla” (00:39:52) “We’re flying blind” (00:54:47) “I feel like I’m carrying this weight alone” (01:02:13) “Hope is not a strategy” (01:24:56) “This is what happens when we finally get specific” (01:42:25) Where are they now? Amy and John’s follow-ups Links Mentioned In This Episode: • Join me Monday, October 20 to learn How To Nail Your Dream Job Interview. Reserve your spot at https://iwt.com/interview This episode is brought to you by: LMNT | Right now, LMNT is offering 8 single serving packets FREE with any LMNT order. Get yours at https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT Rocket Money | Cancel unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster at https://rocketmoney.com/ramit ZocDoc | Download the ZocDoc app for FREE at https://zocdoc.com/ramit then find and book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored Facet | Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Fabric by Gerber Life | Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

If you and your partner have ever talked about changing jobs so you can earn more money and

0:05.2

finally live your rich life, this is for you. Join me Monday, October 20th for a free live

0:11.5

event called How to Nail Your Dream Job Interview. You're going to learn how to calm your

0:16.7

nerves, how to tell natural stories, and how to show hiring managers exactly why you are the

0:22.3

best choice. And this is with my guest, Michael Gendler, from Ultra Speaking. Your dream job could

0:28.3

transform your money and your lifestyle and your relationship. So reserve your spot at IWT.com

0:35.3

slash interview or click the link in the show notes.

0:38.5

I handle all of our finances and I can see that there's no savings.

0:41.7

I can see if John gets hurt tomorrow on a job, we're f***ed.

0:46.5

You have 168% on fixed costs.

0:48.9

You're broke.

0:49.7

I feel we're so strapped for money that I am just trying to bring in as much as I can.

0:55.0

You are spending more than you make every month, that's for sure. It's not sustainable.

0:59.0

This is an unbearable amount of stress, and I feel it every day, all hours of the day.

1:04.0

I am carrying this weight over here on my own when it comes to how our household is being run

1:10.0

and what our monthly finances look like.

1:11.6

That's on me.

1:12.6

We've got nothing.

1:14.6

There is no cushion if we fall.

1:17.6

We lose everything overnight.

1:19.6

I mean, it feels more and more like I'm just getting attacked here, so I'm starting to feel offensive, to be quite honest.

1:25.6

This is directly from Amy's application.

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