Hello and good morning, good evening, good afternoon and welcome to the For the Many podcast. It's a long time since we've done a formal introduction, but I thought we should today because you're going to get swabbed in an hour and a half, aren't you?

You're right. We have a limited time, Ian, because at half-past ten, somebody's going to knock on my front door and swap me to make sure that I'm clean.

And so you're going private?

Well, I'm not going private, but essentially your license fee is being used to make.

Oh yes, because it's...

Just when you thought it was safe, it's the return to strictly come dancing of Jackie Smith.

It's true. I am back, everybody. I am back for the final.

Is that because everyone else has caught it or something?

Yeah, that's right. No, they looked back at my dancing. They thought we've made a terrible,

terrible mistake. She clearly should have been in the final. We're going to invite her

back to compete

and almost certainly give her the glitter ball.

That's one of my dreams.

Do you actually dream about that?

No.

I had a horrible dream last night.

Oh, did you what?

Did I feature?

No, you didn't, but my boobs featured. I had a horrible dream where I, essentially,

my body. I don't know whether, listeners, I don't know whether to stop her here or not.

Menopausal women, listen to this, right? I had this horrible dream

Where essentially I

...