23. Insourcing Approval
Insource
Ashlie Molstad
4.2 • 940 Ratings
🗓️ 20 April 2023
⏱️ 28 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
If you’ve ever felt judged by your parents, partner, or people who love you, this episode is for you.
If you’ve held yourself back from doing what you KNEW in your bones was right for you for fear of letting them down, this episode is for you.
If you’ve been angry at their lack of support, or lived in fear of what they’d think of you for making that choice, this episode is for you.
I break down why you care so much about their approval, and why you no longer need it.
I offer a new perspective for why they might be acting in judgment of you, and how you can lay down your sword and just let them love you - while you love them.
You no longer need their approval to feel a sense of belonging.
See you inside 💥
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You know you're just going to make a radical change that you know is going to rock the boat or ruffle some feathers and you're very worried about it because what are they going to say? |
| 0:08.4 | What are they going to think? And when I say they in this instance, it's really not the strangers or the coworkers opinions that we |
| 0:15.7 | fear the most it's the ones that love us the most whose opinions we're most |
| 0:20.1 | afraid of because those are the people we are most afraid of letting down. |
| 0:24.0 | Again as a child you learn seek that approval because that approval is survival when you're |
| 0:29.4 | little. If you don't have a love and belonging when you are young and your needs aren't met you don't make it. Oh my gosh it is just so nice to see you here. Thanks for coming back again. |
| 0:53.6 | Week after week, I'll just never get over. |
| 0:58.0 | I don't think I will ever get used to you guys loving me. |
| 1:01.0 | I mean, I've been loving you guys for a long time but just feels like we have |
| 1:05.3 | a whole other connection now and it's really cool to see your guys' brains at work. So I appreciate you coming back week after week. Today's episode I want to talk about something that comes up pretty frequently in session and also in my own brain and probably in your brain and that is just |
| 1:27.9 | because we're humans but today I want to talk to you about how to insource approval, right? |
| 1:36.0 | Because we spend so much of our lives seeking approval |
| 1:40.8 | from other people. |
| 1:41.4 | And this starts really as a basic human need. |
| 1:45.0 | It makes total sense why we are looking outside for people to say we're good enough |
| 1:50.0 | we're worthy you can do that thing, you look okay, you know, you're likable, you're |
| 1:55.4 | lovable, you're successful, looking everywhere outside of our skin that makes sense |
| 2:01.5 | because when you come into the world you don't know |
| 2:03.9 | anything about the world and so you have to look outside as you're learning how the |
| 2:08.2 | world works and then you're sort of you, that need for love and belonging is a huge core |
| 2:16.7 | human need and it's for our whole life but when you're a child you really are |
| 2:21.1 | dependent on love and belonging for survival. |
... |
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