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Apocrypals

23: Dunking on Satan (The Acts of Pilate and the Gospel of Nicodemus)

Apocrypals

Chris Sims

Comedy, History

4.9650 Ratings

🗓️ 21 October 2018

⏱️ 90 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

PIECES be with you, Theophil-OOZE, and get ready for the first installment of our two-part HELLoween SCAREtacular! This week, we're descending into HELL! And, uh, it's not actually that scary in the traditional sense, although the antisemitism of early Christian writings brings its own brand of horror. Either way, it's our long-awaited discussion of the Harrowing of Hell! Plus, an untold tale of Jesus's magic emotion-changing clothes!

Topics of discussion: The rehabilitation of Pilate, the Apostle's Creed, the Autobiography of Bruce Wayne, a brand-new miracle, St. Procla, the origin of Veronica, a revelation about twelve years of bleeding, a good way to repel evil spirits, a slightly less good way to repel evil spirits from Benito's childhood, devhellopment, the Bad Place, God's magic word, Habakuk's comeback, the Cure of Tiberius and the Death of Pilate, a secret zombie, Longinus, and a surprise appearance by the Antichrist.

Hymnal: "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC

Offertory: If you enjoy the show, head to ko-fi.com/apocrypals and send us a love offering! We absolutely appreciate it!

 

Transcript

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0:00.0

And while all the saints were rejoicing,

0:02.1

Behold Satan the prince and chief of death,

0:04.8

said unto hell,

0:06.1

Make thyself ready to receive Jesus,

0:08.2

who boasteth himself that he is the son of God.

0:11.8

Gospel of Nicodemus, chapter 20, verse one.

0:15.7

Going down for the time,

0:20.1

my friends are going to be the truth

0:22.9

I'm on the highway

0:27.1

Hell

0:28.3

I'm the highway to hell

0:32.4

Highway

0:35.3

Hello

0:36.2

And welcome to Apocrypal's.

0:38.5

It's the podcast where two non-believers read through the Bible and we try not to be jerks about it.

0:42.8

My name is Chris Sims.

0:44.0

With me as always, the other set of footprints, Benito Serino.

0:46.5

Benito, how are you today?

0:48.7

I'm very good here in part one of our Spooktoberfest spooktacular boonanza.

1:01.5

Yeah, it's scary one today.

1:04.2

I was terrified to my very marrow while reading this chilling story.

1:10.5

Spoiler warning, at the end of this show, you're going to turn around and you're going to have

...

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