227. “We bought our dream house. Now we’re drowning”

Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Ramit Sethi

Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing, Business

4.6 • 3.1K Ratings

🗓️ 23 September 2025

⏱️ 85 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Jason (38) and Katie (36) thought buying their dream home in Minnesota would be the start of a new chapter. Instead, they’re buried in debt, daycare bills, and the pressure of raising a new baby while working demanding creative jobs in an industry threatened by AI. Despite earning $246,000 a year, they’ve been trapped in a decade-long debt cycle, and every dollar is already spoken for. With $30,000 in debt left to go and no clear plan for what comes next, can they finally break free of survival mode and build the life they truly want together? In this episode we uncover: • How Jason and Katie’s “dream home” quickly became a financial trap • Why their money talks happen every single day—and why that constant communication leaves them exhausted • The pattern of paying off debt, only to fall right back into it • The hidden costs of homeownership • Jason’s obsession with “cashflow”—and why Ramit calls it a red flag that blinds them to the bigger picture • How Katie’s childhood lessons of “we can’t afford it” show up in her marriage today • Jason’s upbringing of scarcity and mixed money messages • The constant fear of job loss in an industry disrupted by AI • Why their meticulous tracking of every penny isn’t working • The moment Jason admits he’s “done” with the cycle Chapters: (00:00:00) “We talk about every transaction” (00:22:05) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:36:18) When “cashflow” becomes a red flag (00:39:39) When “asking for permission” follows you into marriage (00:45:58) “We couldn’t afford the pool, but a new TV showed up” (00:56:23) “I’m repeating a cycle” (01:21:02) “You have more money than you realize” (01:26:33) Where are they now? Jason and Katie’s follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: Fabric by Gerber Life | Join the thousands of parents who trust Fabric to protect their family. Apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/ramit DeleteMe | If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off Leesa | Go to https://leesa.com for 25% off sitewide PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code RAMIT, exclusive for my listeners LMNT | Right now, LMNT is offering 8 single serving packets FREE with any LMNT order. Get yours at https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT Trust & Will | Protect what matters most in minutes at https://trustandwill.com/ramit and get 10% off plus free shipping Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Transcript

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0:00.0	It's that whole cash flow thing. It's going out every month instead of staying with us and building something.
0:06.3	You are missing all of the nuances of money, especially when you have very high holding costs with a house, a car, a baby.
0:14.6	We had a half broken up concrete patio in the backyard. Our deck was now sliced.
0:22.4	What is the state of your backyard now?
0:28.2	Shambles. Like a big dirt pile, basically. It's just like a little bit scary knowing that we do have this big income now, but in the future, it might not be there. Your emergency fund wouldn't last you
0:33.6	even a week. Well, growing up, I got what I wanted when I asked for it, and I think that I can do that now.
0:40.4	Every time you have paid off your debt, you've gotten right back into debt. Why is it going to be any
0:43.8	different this time? Jason and Katie are a young couple in the Midwest with a baby, an SUV, and a big
0:50.1	house. Isn't this the American dream? But behind closed doors, their money is crushing them.
0:57.4	They've been married for a decade, and for all 10 years, they've been stuck in a cycle of debt.
1:02.6	They fiddle around with their numbers, but nothing really seems to change. So if you feel like
1:07.6	you're taking one step forward and two steps back with your money,
1:11.2	I want you to listen to this episode.
1:12.7	I'm about to open up their conscious spending plan,
1:15.5	which breaks down their net worth, income, and where they spend their money.
1:19.0	You can download and create your own conscious spending plan for free at IWT.com
1:24.8	slash CSP.
1:26.5	Here's a snapshot of where they stand.
1:28.5	Their assets are 554,000, investments, 118,000, debt 419,000, and a net worth of 255,000.
1:38.9	Their fixed costs are a staggering 83%.
1:42.4	Savings, just 1%. And guilt-free spending is at 9%. For a couple earning nearly a
1:49.1	quarter million dollars a year, most of their money is already spoken for, which explains why they
	...

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