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Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

226. “She’s chasing FIRE. I want to enjoy life now.”

Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Ramit Sethi

Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing, Business

4.63.1K Ratings

🗓️ 16 September 2025

⏱️ 101 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Laura (34) and Cameron (38) earn over $200,000 a year and save thousands each month, yet every decision feels like a crisis. Laura, a first-generation Mexican American, grew up in financial chaos and now enforces strict rules, from tracking every purchase in YNAB to keeping Cameron on an allowance. Her dream is to hit Coast FIRE in five years. Cameron, meanwhile, just wants to enjoy life today—take a trip, fix the car, maybe even expand their family. Their daughter is four, and the question of whether to have another child looms large. Can Ramit help them break free from fear, build shared goals, and find a balance between saving for tomorrow and living fully now? A special thanks to DeleteMe for sponsoring this episode. If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off. In this episode we uncover: • Why Laura enforces strict financial rules yet still feels unsafe despite saving half their income • How Cameron’s “passenger” role with money leaves Laura carrying the weight • Why their $228,000 household income doesn’t feel like “enough” in an affluent Chicago neighborhood • How childhood experiences shaped Laura’s scarcity mindset • The emotional toll of living as if they are still poor, even with nearly half a million dollars in net worth • How FIRE gave Laura a sense of control and safety—but at the cost of enjoying life today • How chasing control keeps them feeling perpetually “behind” and unable to thrive • The stark contrast between Laura’s authoritarian role and Cameron’s passivity • How they can move beyond survival mode and start thriving by defining a shared Rich Life vision Chapters: (00:00:00) “I keep my husband on an allowance” (00:09:58) Ramit breaks down their numbers (00:25:05) “We feel poor… on $228,000 a year” (00:41:37) “My parents racked up debt in my name without me knowing” (00:54:48) “I keep us living small” (01:10:21) “CoastFi says we’re fine—so why doesn’t it feel real?” (01:24:06) “What would make the next 10 years magical?” (01:33:54) Where are they now? Laura and Cameron’s follow-ups This episode is brought to you by: Wildgrain | Get $30 off the first box - PLUS free Croissants in every box at https://wildgrain.com/ramit ZocDoc | Download the ZocDoc app for FREE at https://zocdoc.com/ramit then find and book a top-rated doctor today #sponsored SonderMind | Go to https://sondermind.com to get matched with the right therapist in less than a week Facet | Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to https://facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you Links mentioned in this episode • Get tickets for my next live event—September 26 in Los Angeles—at iwt.com/events Connect with Ramit • Get my new book, Money For Couples • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

I found out about the fire community and to hear that you could save half your income and retire in seven years was like magic.

0:08.6

I would get overwhelmed and mostly was just watching Laura move numbers around and it's so hard for me to have the interest and to follow it.

0:15.5

I feel like I keep us living very poor. Like it wouldn't matter how much our money grew. We are not allowed to spend

0:23.7

anymore than we're spending now. I'm saying, hey, loosen up, spend this. She's like, well,

0:28.1

of course it's easy for you to sit. You don't know what we have coming up. You don't know any of this.

0:32.6

He wants to have fun. He wants to have a good time. He wants to enjoy himself. And I'm over here,

0:37.3

like, stressing all the time. Fun is a future thing you can do if everything else gets taken care of.

0:43.0

Why don't you allow yourself to enjoy your money? That's not what it's for. It's for the future.

0:47.5

Like, I really don't even feel like the money I have can be spent. What would you do if someone

0:53.3

stole your identity? And what if the people who stole

0:57.5

your identity were your parents? That's exactly what happened to today's guest. In her words,

1:04.9

my parents took out lines of credit in my name. In the process of uncovering how they wronged me,

1:10.2

I vowed to always be able to

1:12.4

take care of myself. Today, I'm speaking with Laura and her husband Cameron. You're going to hear

1:17.4

how this betrayal shaped Laura's entire worldview about money. But that fear and that lack of trust

1:24.7

is now affecting her marriage. For this episode, I partnered with Delete

1:29.0

Me because identity theft can happen to any of us. And when we think of identity theft, we think

1:33.9

of the annoyance of having to close a bunch of accounts. But today's conversation shows how

1:38.5

identity theft can go way deeper. It can change the trajectory of your entire life. I use Delete Me myself. I even got

1:46.1

an account for my parents because I don't want their personal information floating around online.

1:50.0

So if you want to protect yourself and your family, go to join Deleteme.com slash Rameith

1:56.5

and use code Rameet for 20% off. All right, I'm about to open Laura and Cameron's

...

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