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The SelfWork Podcast

227 SelfWork: Good Stuffing. Bad Stuffing. What's the Difference?

The SelfWork Podcast

Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD

Education, Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Self-improvement

4.81.3K Ratings

🗓️ 16 April 2021

⏱️ 25 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Compartmentalization (sometimes called stuffing away feelings) is a healthy skill much of the time. And you can tell when people don’t have that skill. Their emotions govern their lives and their choices. Something unpleasant or unwelcome ruins their day or causes them to have to leave their job or to yell at their kids. Or at you. So learning how to monitor and evaluate a situation – using mindfulness to be aware of something being emotionally difficult - and then being able to table those feeling until it’s the right time and place to work through those emotions can be a vital skill.

But compartmentalization can also be damaging when it's connected with a need to escape, for example, through addictions; when you use it to avoid what's termed cognitive dissonance, as when you're behaving in a certain way that doesn't match your true values; or when it's part of a sociopathic or even psychopathic personality disorder.

Our listener email is from a man whose ex is talking to their son in an inappropriate way – causing what he has read in my articles an “enmeshment” between the two of them. And he’s wondering what he can do.. What would you do?? So in this episode, sponsored by a new sponsor - Athletic Greens - we'll focus on the good and bad about compartmentalization.

Links:

Click this link to try Athletic Greens wonderful offer as a SelfWork Listener!

A testimonial about compartmentalization

Richard Castro's article about the dark side of compartmentalization

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive one weekly newsletter including my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism or need for control which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions, long hidden away, that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s a new way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This is Selfwork, and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

0:14.1

At Selfwork, we'll discuss psychological and emotional issues common in today's world

0:19.0

and what to do about them.

0:20.4

I'm Dr. Margaret, and Selfwork is a podcast dedicated to you taking just a few minutes today

0:26.2

for your own Selfwork.

0:29.7

Hello, and welcome to this 227th episode of Selfwork.

0:34.6

I'm Dr. Margaret, and I'm so glad you're here.

0:37.0

I'm a psychologist out of Favill, Arkansas, and I began Selfwork four and a half, almost

0:42.2

five years ago.

0:44.0

In order to extend the walls of my practice to those of you who might already be very

0:48.0

educated about psychological issues, but be interested in hearing from some other

0:52.2

psychologist, to those of you who've just been diagnosed with depression or anxiety

0:56.9

and you're looking for answers.

0:59.2

To those of you who might never darken the door of a therapist, but are just curious enough

1:04.9

or despairing enough to also be looking for answers yourself.

1:09.2

Welcome to all of you.

1:11.7

Today we're talking about stuff in your feelings, which is a phrase often used by people when

1:16.1

they don't choose to express or work through things.

1:18.2

They stuff things that they want to avoid, or they fear that saying it might be hurtful to

1:22.9

someone so they don't express it or fear about feeling it at all.

1:27.6

The more psychological term for this is compartmentalization, which is a defensive strategy,

1:33.2

meaning a skill of your mind or your ego to protect you.

...

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