Sorry, I'm just eating an apple.

Sorry, bad, I'm just finishing an apple.

Then we can do a podcast.

I had one of the fucking worst apples I've ever had on the way here.

Chalky?

Yeah, it's all chalking powdery.

Worst kind. I've had some fucking apples in my time, lads. That's a fucking disgrace. And it was, I was gutted. Name and shame. Breed. Granny Smith. What? They're usually tipped up. Also, there's a little bit of karma here because I stole it from... An old woman. Yeah. I've cursed it.

I stole it from Granny Smith.

I've got to be honest, I don't go to I stole it from... An old woman. Yeah.

She cursed it.

I stole it from Granny Smith. I've got to be honest, I don't go to town for less than the pink lady. Yeah. Yeah, I do like a pink lady, but they are... What's that? $79 pence an apple? I know, but I mean... It's like jazz. Jazz is... They're delicious, but they're expensive. How many times do you buy four apples and then eat all four of them?

Never.

So you end up wasting apples anyway.

Yeah.

So, I mean, I think it's better just to go. delicious, but they're expensive. How many times do you buy four apples and then eat all four of them? Never.

So you end up wasting apples anyway.

Yeah.

So, I mean, I think it's better just to go big on the luxury apple. Yeah. Make sure you eat. Yeah, that is a bit of them. And that's my feature, Apple Tips. Hello and welcome to regular features. The podcast is all about apples and readers. Today I'm Matt Lees, joined by...

I'm Gavin Murphy today.

And who are you today?

John Lodblythe.

John L'Oglythe, play today by Joseph Screbles. This is the regular features podcast. Bums! He's cosplaying as John Blyne. Oh my God, he said Bums. Maybe he's going to do... I don't know, talk about it. Scrotum hole. It'll be anything in that stripper's skin. Joe, I like how both me and you are wearing T-shirts with flannel shirts

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