224. Cosmic Hairball
The Allusionist
Helen Zaltzman
4.7 • 3.8K Ratings
🗓️ 9 February 2026
⏱️ 16 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Pack your oxygen tank, we're going to space. There’s a lot of etymology up there.
Visit theallusionist.org/cosmic-hairball for more information about the topics in this episode plus a transcript of the episode.
The singing and score is by Martin Austwick. Download his own songs that aren't about space milk at palebirdmusic.com and on Bandcamp.
The show is taking a little break, and will return early April 2026. To keep in touch in the meantime, head over to theallusionist.org/donate where from as little as $2/month, or as much as $infinity per month if you prefer, you get written bonus content including behind-the-scenes info about every episode; you also get membership of the charming and nurturing Allusioverse Discord community, where we hang out and keep each other company; watch parties such as Chungking Express, Belle and The Ice Storm, and the current season of Great Pottery Throwdown; AND you get more regular livestreams with me reading from my ever-growing collection of dictionaries. AND you're keeping this independent podcast going, so thanks very much for doing that and sparing it from going to the farm upstate. You can also sign up for a free account at the same place, to get occasional email updates.
This episode was produced by me, Helen Zaltzman, on the unceded ancestral and traditional territory of xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Sḵwx̱wú7mesh (Squamish), and səlilwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) Nations.
Find the Allusionist at youtube.com/allusionistshow, instagram.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow, @allusionistshow.bsky.social… If I’m there, I’m there as @allusionistshow.
Our ad partner is Multitude. If you want me to talk compellingly about your product, sponsor an episode: contact Multitude at multitude.productions/ads. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, your one-stop shop for building and running your online forever home. Go to squarespace.com/allusionist for a free trial, and get 10 percent off your first purchase of a website or domain with the code allusionist.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | This is The Illusionist, in which I, Helen Zaltzman, win the participation trophy at the language contest. |
| 0:10.4 | Today's episode contains a lot of etymologies to do with space, so pack your oxygen tank and freeze-dried ice cream. |
| 0:17.1 | After this, the show will be on a little break, returning early April 2026, because I've got |
| 0:21.7 | to stock up on illusional ideas and interviews, and I've got to read a bunch of books, and |
| 0:26.1 | also figure out how to keep the show alive when the podcast ad market is coughing up dust. |
| 0:31.4 | Thanks so much to all of you who donate to the show by theillusionist.org slash donate, |
| 0:36.0 | because without your contributions, this show |
| 0:38.7 | would have been sent to live on a farm upstate. Such power you can wield from just $2 a month, |
| 0:45.2 | or more if you've got money that you don't want to hang on to in case it corrupts your soul. |
| 0:49.4 | And plenty will be going on during the break for you paying members of The Illusiverse. |
| 0:52.9 | There'll be live streams with me and my ever-expanding collection of weird reference books. You get written bonus content. You get the company of the Illusiverse Discord. We do watchalongs, including the current season of Great Pottery Throwdown. And some films coming up, I think we're going to do Chunking Express. And Amra Sante's period drama, Bell. We've had a request for The Ice Storm too, and sure, I'll return to that bleakness if that's |
| 1:14.2 | what you want. |
| 1:15.2 | So head over to theelusionist.org slash donate to get in on that. |
| 1:18.8 | Or you can sign up for a free account, and that just means you get occasional updates about |
| 1:22.7 | illusionist stuff via email. |
| 1:24.8 | On with the show. |
| 1:40.9 | Thank you. via email. On with the show. The English language is riddled with words that are borrowed from space or influenced by space. |
| 1:46.6 | Eccentric, an orbit that didn't have the Earth right at the centre, whereas concentric does have a centre. |
| 1:48.1 | Ether, long before it meant a chemical compound, it was the substance that filled the space |
| 1:53.4 | beyond the clouds. |
| 1:54.9 | If you've been wondering what deities breathed, it was ether. |
| 1:58.5 | Depression, before that meant anything to do with mental health or weather systems, |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Helen Zaltzman, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Helen Zaltzman and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.