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Mary's Cup of Tea: the Self Love Podcast for Women

#222: Stop Being a “Good Girl” with Elise Loehen

Mary's Cup of Tea: the Self Love Podcast for Women

Mary Jelkovsky

Body-image, Education, Relationships, Self Compassion, Society & Culture, Self Love For Women, Self Love, Self-improvement, Advice For Women, Women's Health, Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Love Yourself, Self Worth, Self-love, Body Image

4.9745 Ratings

🗓️ 17 October 2024

⏱️ 49 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

My whole life I have strived to be a “good girl.” But after this conversation with Elise Loehnen, I no longer want to be. You will learn... - the history behind the 7 deadly sins and how they’ve been weaponized by the patriarchy - who Mary Magdalene really was and how she got mislabeled as a prostitute - why thinness is the dominant beauty ideal in our current culture - the connection between PRIDE and ENVY - subtle ways women undermine each other Elise Loehnen is a writer, editor, and podcast host who lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Rob, and their two sons, Max and Sam. She is the host of Pulling the Thread, a podcast focused on pulling apart the stories we tell about who we are—and then putting those threads back together. Ultimately Elise is a seeker and synthesizer, braiding together wisdom traditions, cultural history, and a deep knowledge of healing modalities to unlock new ways to contextualize who we are and why we’re here. She’s also the author of the instant New York Times bestseller On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good (Dial Press/PRH). The book weaves together history, memoir, and cultural criticism to explore the ways patriarchy lands in the bodies of women and embeds itself in our consciousness—and what we then police in ourselves and in each other. Regardless of our religious provenance, the self-denial implicit in each of the Seven Deadly Sins—Sloth, Envy, Pride, Gluttony, Greed, Lust, Anger—reads like a checklist of what it means to be a “good” woman. With awareness, we can begin to recognize these patterns of self-restriction, break the story, and move ourselves and each other toward freedom and balance. Follow Elise on Instagram: @eliseloehnen Get Elise’s book, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @eliseloehnen Mentioned In This Episode... Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to Mary's Cup of Tea, the self-love podcast for women, though all self-lovers are welcome here.

0:07.1

I'm your host, Mary Jolkovsky. I'm an author, speaker, retreat leader, and all-around

0:12.7

self-love advocate. And this is the podcast that will inspire you to love yourself.

0:20.2

Hello, self-lover. Before we dive into today's podcast episode, I want to make

0:24.8

sure you know about my two books on self-love. If you're struggling with body image or self-acceptance,

0:30.5

then I highly recommend you check out my first book, The Gift of Self-Love. It's a comprehensive

0:35.5

workbook to help you build confidence, recognize your

0:38.5

worth, and learn to love who you are. Thousands of people have this book and the five-star reviews

0:44.2

are so amazing. They give me so much life, so I hope that this is something that can help you too.

0:49.5

You can get it wherever books are sold by searching for the gift of self-love or go to my website

0:54.8

Mary's Cup of Tea.com slash book. After releasing the gift of self-love and reading all your

1:00.4

positive feedback, I realized that we really needed something to keep us going every single day.

1:05.6

So not a deep dive workbook, but maybe like a micro dose of self-love in your daily life, which is why I wrote

1:13.0

100 days of self-love. It's a guided journal with, you guessed it, 100 prompts that cover so many

1:18.9

areas of life, including body, identity, purpose, emotions, mindset, relationships, and more.

1:25.8

So you can really think of it as a metaphorical multivitamin, something to keep you going, or as I like to say, relationships, and more. So you can really think of it as a metaphorical multivitamin,

1:29.3

something to keep you going, or as I like to say, growing, on your self-love journey. You can get

1:34.1

this journal wherever books are sold as well by searching for 100 days of self-love, or go to

1:39.4

Maryskupof-tee.com slash journal. It's my mission to share all the self-love tea with you, so I hope that both my books

1:45.8

and this podcast can do just that.

1:53.7

One of my favorite poems is called Wild Geese by Mary Oliver. The first line says, you do not have to be good. I highly recommend

2:05.6

looking up a video of Mary Oliver herself reading this poem because it will bring chills to your

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