222: Just Say You're No Fun

Hello Dysfunction

Comedy, Improv

5 • 1.8K Ratings

🗓️ 5 August 2023

⏱️ 89 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Pat is recovering from alcohol poisoning.
The live shows were more than we ever hoped for. Crystal thinks she has a “dance space”. Nations got us thinking we’re famous. Is Lizzo disgusting? Crystal is Peez’ favorite person in the world. And Taco Bell better stop skimping us.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Oh! Hi kids! What was that? That sounded abrupt, huh? Yeah, that was weird. I just
0:25.4	were okay. I panicked. I couldn't press the record, but now I'm in the fucking computer.
0:31.8	Just do like that. Dude, my toe was wrapped in the cord to my headphone. Hi! Look at the
0:40.3	tufts of cat hair on your knee. Girl, nothing. What a week. What a fucking week. What a
0:53.7	fucking week. I feel like since we went to that cabin with my mom like five weeks ago, a month
1:00.6	ago probably, that like everything's just been non-stop. Like I haven't had a moment to breathe,
1:06.5	and like what a weekend. It's what a week. Yeah. Three days in or something, four days. And it's
1:12.1	like four weeks. Since Sunday, like, excuse me, yesterday was the first time I ate a meal,
1:19.1	like an actual meal since Sunday. This one. I had a lot going on. I felt like I was going to die,
1:27.1	and like, I'm not even being dramatic. It was too much. No, I'm laughing, but I thought I need help.
1:35.9	I want you to get situated. I need God. Fuck. I can't. Okay, I think I made it, you guys.
1:43.4	I'm laughing, but I thought for a minute we were gonna take you the fucking eat. I was crying
1:47.6	because I thought I had to go. So Sunday, you know, we had two shows back to back on Saturday and
1:55.1	Sundays when we did our live shows. Yeah. And they were great. I was drinking bloody marries.
2:00.9	I wasn't drunk. I won't say I'll say, but like Sunday, I continued drinking and like,
2:09.6	you really like to press it. I want to say I was kind of drunk maybe when I left on Sunday night,
2:15.7	because I had another one after everybody was gone. And we were like cleaning up. I had another one.
2:22.3	And so someone pointed out to me, like, you had like five drinks before 11 p.m. They're like,
2:28.8	you had 16 bloody marries. No, I had like five before no four or five before 11 p.m. And then I went
2:39.5	out that night. And so I continued drinking. I want to say I had like two more drinks or maybe three
2:47.1	at the first place. See, I want to get this figured out because I started to accuse the first
2:54.1	place we went to of dosing me because there's been rumors of other people I know that I've had one
	...

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