221. Making Decisions in the First Year, or When Big Decisions Have Deadlines

The Widowed Mom Podcast

Krista St-Germain

Mental Health, Grief, Deathofpartner, Education, Widowedmom, Deathofspouse, Widow, Lossoflovedone, Health & Fitness, Husbanddied, Self-improvement, Posttraumaticgrowth, Lifeafterloss, Overcominggrief

4.6 • 649 Ratings

🗓️ 21 August 2023

⏱️ 19 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

One piece of advice that is often offered to widows is, “Don’t make big decisions in the first year.”

While I recognize that making decisions in grief is a nuanced issue, I’m not a fan of the notion that we can’t trust ourselves to do big things in grief. I address how to make decisions in the first year, or when big decisions have deadlines.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/221

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Widowed Mom Podcast, episode 221, making decisions in the first year, or when big decisions have deadlines.
0:11.3	Welcome to the Widowed Mom podcast, the only podcast that offers a proven process to help you work through your grief, to grow, evolve, and create a future you can
0:23.3	truly look forward to. Here's your host, Master Certified Life Coach, Grief Expert, Widow,
0:29.9	and Mom, Krista St. Germain.
0:33.8	Hey there, welcome to another episode of the podcast. So last week, I shared some advice from other
0:41.0	widows. And this week, I want to share my spin on some advice from other widows. Because one of the
0:48.2	things that I heard over and over and over from other widows was don't make decisions in the first year. Don't make
0:55.8	big decisions in the first year. I hate that advice. I hate it because says who, first of all,
1:06.3	and also sometimes we have really big decisions that we need to make in the first year.
1:12.4	And when you keep hearing, don't make big decisions in the first year and you have a big
1:17.0	decision that has a deadline or a decision that you really want to make that's important to you,
1:22.0	it kind of undermines your confidence.
1:24.2	You start to think there's something wrong with you and like you're incapable of making
1:28.1	a big decision in the first year. So I'm not a fan of that advice. Now, I get that a lot of widows say that
1:34.9	because they did things in the first year that they later wish they hadn't done. They later look back
1:40.6	and regret. I also understand that grief wreaks havoc on our body, on our hormones,
1:46.6	on everything, and that sometimes we don't really feel like ourselves in the first year.
1:51.9	So I'm not saying this is a black and white issue. I recognize that it is nuanced, but I really
1:59.3	want to support those of you who want to make a
2:02.4	decision or who have a decision in front of you, especially if it has a deadline.
2:08.5	And you're also being told simultaneously not to make big decisions in the first year.
2:14.8	But what if you have one?
	...

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