Welcome to Beach to Sandy Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think.

Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could.

You know, Christina, your trash pile is literally just a bunch of banana peels.

What? There's no banana. They don't know that because we're not filming. I mean, it's worse, the banana peels. So, yeah. I don't think it's worse. Christine, that isn't. We can pretend it's not like she's got food. You've got food line. Well. Well. Okay, maybe so. have some weed gummies, the legal kind. Oh. But those should not be loose because I do have a baby. Yeah, you were just saying how your baby was in here playing around. Well, shit. Yeah, that's right all the bananas came from. Oh, got it. She slipped on all those banana peels. Well, look, I have this nice stuffed possum.

That's a cutie.

Yeah. Okay, well, it's not all trash. I also have some Zoloft here. There's, you know. Man, Leon, I can have a party. Folks, I promise I'm responsible. Okay, let's leave it at that. but welcome to beach,

shoes, sandy water, too wet.

This is a podcast where we read the worst reviews

in the most dramatic fashion.

My name is Zandi. I'm X-Teen, Queen of the Trash Pile. Today we're discussing... Speaking of royalty. What are we discussing? Church festivals. Oh, yeah. Holy Trinity.

Oh, yeah.

Is that the royalty you're talking about?

Yep, it sure is.

Sure.

The one true.

One true king.

King of all kings.

Remember in second grade?

Okay.

Here we go.

When you posted it on Patreon, you literally said,

because some of, we're doing church festivals,

...