220. How To Actually Build Self-Trust and Finally Stop Second-Guessing Yourself

Honeydew Me

Cassandra Anderson

Self-improvement, Education, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 533 Ratings

🗓️ 25 June 2025

⏱️ 65 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Self-trust isn’t just a cute idea, it’s the foundation for literally everything. This week we’re joined by Emily Romero, trauma therapist turned author and creator of The Self-Trust Model™, to talk about how to stop overthinking, start trusting your gut, and finally feel like you’ve got you. If people-pleasing, insecurity, or indecision have been running the show... this one’s for you. We cover: Why people-pleasing, overthinking, and low self-worth all come back to self-trust. If you’re stuck in “I don’t know what I want” mode, Emily breaks down how that’s not a personality flaw, it’s a self-trust issue. What to do when you feel totally disconnected from yourself. Tired of second-guessing every decision? Here’s how to reconnect with your inner voice (even if it feels really quiet right now). How to build self-trust without needing to be perfect. Trusting yourself doesn’t mean you always get it “right," it means knowing you’ll have your own back either way. The sneaky ways we self-abandon in everyday life. From ignoring your gut to staying in the wrong relationship, Emily shares how to spot the tiny ways you break trust with yourself. Why trying to be the “good girl” keeps you stuck. We unpack how internalized shame, pressure to perform, and perfectionism block you from feeling safe in your own body. What sexual empowerment has to do with self-trust. Feeling confident in bed starts way before the bedroom. Emily explains how self-trust shapes desire, boundaries, and pleasure. How to trust yourself during a big life shift (like a breakup or job loss). When everything’s changing, it’s easy to spiral. Here’s how to stay grounded and move forward with clarity. The difference between fear and intuition (and how to tell them apart). Is it a red flag or just anxiety? Emily breaks down how to read your body’s signals and know what’s actually right for you. BUY EMILY'S BOOK HERE! Connect with Emily: Listen to her podcast Visit her website Subscribe to our Patreon for downloadables, extended episodes, video episodes + more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	One in a million.
0:01.8	You're a gem shine when the light grows dim.
0:04.3	See one, two, three, four, three, two, one.
0:08.2	Because no one can do it like who we do it, like what we do it, like we do it, like we do it, like we do it.
0:16.4	Because no one can do it like who we do it like we do it, like we do it.
0:20.5	Because no one can do it like we do it like we do it like we do it. Hello. Hello. Welcome to Honeydumee podcast. I'm Cass. And I'm Emma. And this is our podcast where we talk about sex,
0:32.4	relationships, friendships, mental health, masturbation, and all things just that have to do with your life
0:42.8	that are usually wrapped up in shame. We just like to undress you of that shame. Take off your
0:47.9	shame coat a little bit. Shrug it off. You know, getting hot in here. Sweater shoulder.
0:52.8	Anything that's happening between your ears and between your legs, we're in it. We're in it. We're up there consensually. Consensually. You asked us, you press play. So we are up there consensually. Yeah. How are you? I feel like I haven't just like asked you that in a long time. I know. It's like incredibly rude. I know. I've all been waiting. I, this is going to sound, you know what, I'm not even
1:17.3	going to give a preface. I'm the best I've ever been. I'm the best I've ever been. And I've
1:22.2	talked about it a little bit. I just completed an intensive outpatient program for my OCD.
1:31.2	That term scared the fuck out of me.
1:33.4	When my therapist introduced it to me, I was like, hello?
1:36.7	Like, there was clearly still a lot of shame around mental health care deep inside of me.
1:42.1	And I really didn't want to do it because it was a lot of time and it was very long and
1:46.0	it was a lot of work.
1:47.0	And it meant going up against all of my biggest fears that I thought were very real.
1:51.1	And everybody else's OCD is like, yeah, I get why that's not going to happen.
1:55.1	But mine, mine is real.
1:58.6	It turns out it's not.
2:01.2	And yeah, I just, I've been doing a fuck ton of exposure and response prevention, which
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