That like, okay, when I take a gamble on going to a bar and having a drink,

it's like maybe I'm having two.

Like two's kind of around my max because then I'll kind of start to feel it.

And then especially when I'm by myself, I'm like, I'm not trying to get blasted by myself.

That it's like, okay, if I go in this bar and i have two drinks and i'm looking around looking

to chat and it like doesn't happen i'm just like okay well wrap up the tab and head home and

weirdly that can feel so much more sad and depressing yeah all right like a swing and a miss

as opposed to i don't know the comfort of not swinging i don't

know if i'm doing this analogy right but i hope people understand what i'm saying that there is this

like i said i think last episode about like say especially now that i'm like sublighting a place like

i'm around i'm like i am trying much more to go on dates do things things, be out, like have the chance to meet someone.

And at the same time, it can feel just very defeating that you're like, oh, that felt like a waste of money, you know?

Well, yes. And like as somebody who would go to bars and get hammered by herself, it was fun at times until it wasn't. There wasn't a jab of you. That was great. You're like, I mean, in case, in case you're interested in doing that, I was like, Erica, who are you talking to right now? But that's how it's hammered by theirself. You're like, I'll do another martini. What are we doing? And that's how I'm make friends. I make friends with a bartender. I mean, I would talk to everybody. But now that I'm not drinking, I don't have that same. I can't go out like that. And I don't want to go out like that. Like, I'm good for like one and a Guinness, you know, or like two mocktails. And then I'm like, what am I doing here?

Like, unless it's like a steakhouse or something, we're having dinner or something, I don't know.

I just, I'm right there with you. Sorry, sorry, team. If you're listening, you're like, oh,

girls, like, because we are catches. Like, we are. Like, and I don't really know, I think, where to meet someone. I actually

was thinking about this last night because I was thinking about what I want in a relationship.

And I want, like, I want a healthy, peaceful relationship. This is big. Like, I think a lot of

times when you get used to chaotic relationships. And so here I am.

I'm going to talk a little dating advice.

Okay.

You're very even like I don't think you experience this Erica at all.

...