22: 5 Causes Of Unrequited Love and How To Prevent Them

Love Life with Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 8 May 2020

⏱️ 23 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

There’s a ridiculously simple principle Matt talks about in his seminars. So simple it seems kind of silly. Naïve even. But it’s actually great.

It goes like this: “Make it a rule only to like people who like you back. If you can do that, you’ll never go wrong.”

Sounds tough, I know.

After all, attraction isn’t a simple choice right?

Many of us feel we have no control over who we become attracted to, which can often lead to that great generator of humanity’s worst misery and best poetry: Unrequited love.

Unrequited love is when we fall hard in love with someone who don’t love us back. It’s the painful kind of obsession that keeps you awake at night, and sees you spending hours at your laptop obsessively scouring your crush’s Facebook profile praying that they don’t change their status to “in a relationship”, or that makes your stomach convulse at the thought of catching them kissing another person.

If you've ever fallen hard for someone who doesn't return your feelings, here 5 reasons this happens and what you can do to get your life back...

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello there podcast listeners welcome back to the Love Life podcast. I am your host
0:29.1	Stephen Hussie and today I want to do something a little bit different than usual. Obviously
0:36.4	usually we set up something with Matt in a clip or me chatting with Matt or something else but
0:43.4	today I want to actually give you a little reading slash talk from a blog post I posted last week
0:51.8	on the five common causes of unrequited love and how to prevent them. I think unrequited love
0:59.2	is such a universal experience and one that I am constantly dismayed to see people go through
1:07.6	again and again and they come and tell me about a friend who they're crazy and loved with and
1:14.1	they're not sure how to tell them or someone that they have had feelings for for a while and who
1:20.8	doesn't really notice them at all maybe at work maybe somewhere else maybe someone already in
1:26.4	a relationship and they're pining after them wondering maybe after they go through this string
1:31.4	of bad relationships they'll finally turn and notice me and everything will be like a wonderful
1:37.6	romantic movie and we'll finally be together and if you've been there yourself you know the tiny
1:45.6	morsels of evidence that you cling to as hope just tiny bits of hope that maybe they are coming
1:51.9	around maybe they're noticing me they showed me a bit of attention today and you go further and
1:58.0	further down the rabbit hole and of course when someone occupies this space in your mind in such a
2:03.7	vast way there's a lot of dangers to it so that's what I want to talk about right now.
2:10.9	So I'm going to begin at the beginning of this piece and just work through it and talk through
2:15.3	some of the points as we go through I haven't done a podcast in this format before but I think
2:20.0	it'll be fun to try and you can email me podcastatmoutherhusty.com and let me know how you like it
2:27.4	so the five common causes of unrequited love and how to prevent them.
2:35.1	There's a ridiculously simple principle Matt talks about in his seminars so simple that it seems
2:41.6	kind of silly naive even but I've come to think it actually distills great wisdom.
	...

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