Righto, folks, this is the latest chapter, the latest edition, the latest great revelation from life on planet Porky, with myself, the Porkyster, and of course, rock chick-chick writer extraordinaire, Ms. Leslie M. Jones, how are you this fine day? And I say this fine day, because in the last 24 hours before you and I have sat down in front of these microphones, the weather's been a bit inclement, hasn't it?

I feel much better, thank you. I've cooled down. I was very hot and bothered during all that ridiculous weather.

I don't like the heat.

I'm like you.

I prefer it like this, I must admit.

I don't sombath.

I'm not somebody who lies out on a beach baking for hours on end.

So this is much more comfortable.

I can sleep.

But I feel very sorry for all those people who've been drowned out by the weather this we can. Shocking. You know, we've had

flooded tube stations and all these people that were up in South World, you know, Suffolk,

I should say, for the Latitude Festival.

They all must have drowned, come away like drowned. I live very near there, as you know, in Orwell Key, which is a marina just outside Ipswich,

you know, so I'm not very far away from South Wales at all.

And the weather there sometimes, you know, can be excessive because it's near the coast,

but not like we've seen it lately we're only talking

about london here you know sort of you know subways being flooded and close to me in stockbroker belt

surrey by the way well it's a few miles away but there's a place called worcester park and it's a

suburb of greater london just off A3, the main artery down to the south

coast, I couldn't believe the pictures I saw of four or five feet of water on the streets.

I mean, I don't know where it came from.

It's, you know, you look at your local high street and imagine it now walking along it

...