Okay, folks, you are listening to the latest and hopefully the greatest adventure here on Planet Porky,

life on Planet Porky, of course, with myself, the Portmeister and the Rockyard Writer, Extraordinaire, Ms. Lesleyan Jones.

Miss Jones, how are you this fine day when i say

fine day i mean fine day but still very hot i'm just i you know you can barely breathe can you in this

yeah it's um i've i've been having three or four showers a day just uh staying in the in the house

and and every time i just feel overwhelmed by the heat,

just dodging back in the shower again. No, I totally agree. I've shaved my beard off because it

can be... Oh, have you? Well, it's very, very short now, you know what I mean? I've put the old

sheep's ears through it because you can get very irritating this sort of weather. But there we are.

Talking about the weather, but... I've left mine on. I have to say. I've become accustomed to it.

Excellent, Ms. Jones. Well done. So one aspect of this sort of weather is that it's very bright all

the time. Now, Ms. Jones, in a lot of pictures we see of you, you're often wearing sunglasses,

okay? And, you know, I think it makes you look very elegant and all that kind of thing, the air

of mystery and all that kind of stuff. But I've got two pairs of what I would call, you know,

sort of working glasses. And one pair is a straightforward glass in it and a very thin frame.

But the second pair, they darken depending on how bright it is outside.

Do you see what I mean?

So sometimes if I walk into a pub out of the sunlight, I actually look like I've got sunglasses on.

And they're very, very useful in this sort of weather.

But I was out yesterday and I was probably out in the

day, you know, daylight, sunshine and all that for probably 90 minutes altogether. And when I came

home, my eyes were aching and I was having trouble adjusting to, you know, the amount of light

...