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Honeydew Me

216. How to Talk About Sex With Anyone: Hookups, Long-Term Relationships & Everything In Between

Honeydew Me

Cassandra Anderson

Self-improvement, Education, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8533 Ratings

🗓️ 28 May 2025

⏱️ 66 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, we’re joined by Nicole Thompson, a sex and relationship psychotherapist and host of the Modern Anarchy Podcast. Nicole brings a trauma-informed, radically compassionate lens to the way we talk about sex, relationships, and desire. Together, we explore how shame holds us back from pleasure and how we can start speaking up, owning what we want, and creating the kinds of connections that feel liberating and real.  What we cover in this episode: How to talk about sex, whether you're in a long-term relationship or a casual hookup. Practical tools for naming your needs without shame, fear, or performance.  Why community is key to sexual confidence. How surrounding yourself with sex-positive people helps normalize your desires. The silent damage of purity culture. How early messages about sex create shame and how to unlearn them. How to overcome shame after a hookup. Reframing “sluttiness” as something powerful, not something to regret. Why self-pleasure is step one to communication. What Nicole recommends for anyone struggling to talk about what they want. To feel big pleasure, you have to feel big feelings. Why crying and cumming might be more connected than you think. How to find the words for what you want. Tips for discovering and articulating your desires, even if you’ve never done it before. Resources + Links Follow Nicole on Instagram: @modernanarchypodcast Listen to the Modern Anarchy Podcast HERE! Get The Psychedelic Jealousy Guide HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hello, one in a million, you're a gem shine when the light grows dim.

0:04.0

See one, two, three, four, three, two, one.

0:08.0

Because no one can do it like who we do it, like we do it, like we do it, like we do it, like we do it, like we do it, like we do it, like we do it.

0:16.0

Because no one can do it like who we do it like we do it, like we do it, because no one can do it like we do it like we do it like we do it. Hello. Hello. Welcome to Honeydumee podcast. I'm Cass. And I'm Emma. And I really should have let you go first because I love when you introduce the podcast. So Cass, you are we?

0:38.1

We are a podcast that talks about sex, relationships, mental health, friendship,

0:43.4

really anything that can feel a little bit sticky, a little bit shame covered,

0:48.9

dripping in shame.

0:49.7

I don't like what I'm doing now because you put too much pressure on me.

0:53.1

I'm so sorry. I know. I know.

0:55.3

I took I took the responsibility and then I dropped it back to you. Thrust it. But that's kind of

1:01.6

who we fucking are. We try to have structure. We come off clunky. We're humans and we want to be humans

1:08.7

with you because we're not perfect you're not perfect

1:11.9

or special and that's what makes everything so great that's what makes it all great because we're

1:17.2

all going through the same fucking things bitches bitches oh speaking of same fucking things okay

1:26.2

yeah i need this to be a relatability moment.

1:30.3

And if it turns out that I'm the only person in the world that this is happening to, lie.

1:35.3

And all of you listening lie.

1:37.3

There's no way.

1:38.2

There's no way.

1:39.0

It's just, it's, I just think we haven't really talked about it.

1:41.9

It's done.

1:43.4

Have you ever been engaging in dirty talk and said the wrong thing, like messed up what you were saying or like said it too quietly or said it at the wrong like tone?

...

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