215. Q+A: "Why Does It Take Me So Long To Get Turned On?"

Honeydew Me

Cassandra Anderson

Self-improvement, Education, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 533 Ratings

🗓️ 21 May 2025

⏱️ 31 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience. The Question: "I'm in a really loving and supportive relationship and I want to have sex. Like, I mentally want it—I’m attracted to my partner, I crave intimacy, I feel emotionally connected… but it still takes me a long time to feel fully turned on physically. I don’t just get wet easily, and sometimes it feels like I’m waiting for my body to catch up. It makes me feel kind of broken or like I’m doing something wrong. Is this normal? Why is it so hard to just “flip the switch,” even when I want to be there? And how can I navigate this with my partner in a way that doesn’t make things awkward or overly clinical?" We're covering: The difference between spontaneous vs responsive desire How to stop "shoulding" on yourself when it comes to sex Tips for talking to your partner about your needs (BONUS: how to talk to a casual hookup about your needs) Specific strategies you can use to get in the mood (solo or with your partner) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	One in a minute, you're a gem shine when the light grows dim.
0:04.3	See one, two, three, four, three, two, one. Because no one can do it like who we do it, like what we do it, like we do it, like we do it, like we do it. Because no one can do it like who we do it, like we do it, like we do it. Because all we can do it like we do it, like we do it, like we do it like we do it like we do it. Because no one can do it like we do it like we do it like we do it.
0:25.0	Hello, welcome to Honeydemy podcast.
0:27.8	I'm Emma.
0:28.5	And I'm Cass and this is our podcast where we talk about sex, relationships, mental health, all of the things that tend to be really wrapped up in shame.
0:38.0	And we just unwrap them so that you know you're not alone because you are not.
0:43.4	We are right there with you.
0:45.4	We sure are.
0:46.8	Almost every single question we've ever gotten has either been the reason we've started
0:51.2	this podcast or questions we've asked along the way.
0:54.6	So this is like your one-stop shop for all of the things that bring questions that arise
1:02.3	questions in you.
1:03.2	I don't know what I was just trying to say.
1:05.1	Doesn't matter.
1:06.0	Doesn't matter.
1:06.6	Doesn't matter.
1:07.3	It doesn't matter.
1:07.6	It doesn't matter.
1:07.6	You're here.
1:08.2	Hello.
1:09.0	Hello.
1:09.6	Thank you for being here.
	...

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