Hi guys. Welcome to episode 216 of Hello Disfunction. I'm your girl. And I'm me.

Crystal. And this fucking cat is in here. She's old. You know it. I don't like it. It makes me anxious and I'll lay here and mind her business.

Come here, baby. She's a fucking. You do the shit on purpose. It makes me uncomfortable. Why? This one's a good girl. She's 17. She just lays here.

Okay. We're going to start this episode with a rendition of No, we're not sweet home. You were just singing El Vira in the hallway. And I was singing beautiful boy earlier. What is that? I don't even know, but I was singing it.

So Crystal has an announcement. I hate you. I was on live yesterday. We were supposed to record yesterday, right? And I was like, there's something really serious we need to talk about, but I am not allowed to say anything. So you're such a bitch. I was like, Patreon will be up tonight. I lied. It was supposed to be up last night. And then we just didn't feel good. So we were both like, okay, tomorrow. God, but you know, we have to be very delicate.

And consider it. And she's going to give you her announcement or I could do it. She's melodramatic. I have an infected tattoo. That is not what I'm talking about. No. So I don't over the weekend. I, you know, I derma playing my face. I think that's what it's called or am I making that where you fucking shave it? Yeah.

With the little thing. And I do it like every week and a half like a blade. And so Saturday I was doing it. And I noticed like a bump on the right side of my face, like by my ear, high cheekbone. And I was looking at it. And you know, it's like brownish, but I'm like, that's not a sunspot. It's not an age spot. And I felt it. And it's new, right? Yeah. You didn't record it in the last two weeks. You'll never met stranger danger.

And so I was feeling it. And it doesn't feel smooth like a new mole. It felt like rough. And so I sent it to my mom. And she's like making appointment with your doctor, however, we've got it. And you know, I spent a lot of time in tanning beds. I grew up when it we made Andre would slather baby will on us and lay by the pool for fucking six hours.

So I had a video appointment with my doctor. I sent her some photos. And of course, I sent her a photo when I first found it. And then I decided to pick at it. So got a little scab on it. I sent her that photo. But she said it's probably skin cancer. She was like, but don't freak out. It's easy. They just skin cancer. They just remove it or they give you cream that like takes it off.

Which is great, right? And she sent me a text and told me I was like, isn't life great or something? I didn't expect to tattoo fucking possible skin. Then I'm like, did the tattoo get infected? Because your skin has cancer right now. And it's sensitive. I'm flowing. It's like, don't tattoo me right now, because I already got this going on. We're in a flare up. Yeah.

Yeah. No, stupid. No. I think the only, you know, I have like 15 tattoos. But the only ones that ever got infected are the two colored ones on my inner arm. So I'm thinking my body. That's a tricky place. Don't get any more color there. Yeah.

So just those, those areas in general come in contact with hella shit. So it's like, it's, you're always going to be prone all on my left arm. I've had multiple get infected. Yeah.

It sucks. But it goes away. It's easy. And you know, and I was joking, laughing. We were joking because when my, well, when my previous one got infected and it healed, it's very splotchy and like faded in areas. And I said, oh, this is really going to look like a mental illness.

Sock. And you said, Carolyn's sock. And I said, if you kind of didn't, Carolyn's couch sock.

With Helen dust, buddy. That's what it's going from.

So yeah, so I have to wait for the scab to go away. And then I'll go to my appointment and I'll do some photos and go from there.

But I decide how they want to remove the cancer. I hate you. She goes, did you cry? And I was like, no. And she goes, I would have called everybody, even people I don't talk to.

No, I'm serious. I wanted, you see, it's not even on me. And I wanted to tell everybody that day. So I'm like, who else do we need to tell? Cause I have a friend makes the calls if you want.

You're like, all right, the go find me. Yeah. I was not cracking up, but I have a friend who has a family history of it.

And I reached out to her because I like just last week she had got a spot removed on her nose.

And I was like, so like, I think I might have a spot. Like, you know, what's the process? What happens? And like, she just broke it down for me. And did she start crying?

No, she just was, I hate you. She's like, they just remove it. And then you know, you just get like six months checks, which, yeah, cool.

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