Welcome to episode 211 with my guest Maggie Mall. This episode is sponsored by Squarespace.

Squarespace recently launched their latest version of their platform Squarespace 7,

which has a completely redesigned interface integrations with Getty Images and Google Apps.

15 new templates and an incredible feature called Coverpages. So try the new Squarespace with a

free trial at squarespace.com and enter the offer code mental at checkout to get 10% off. Squarespace,

start here, go anywhere. I'm Paul Gilmarten. This is the Metal Illness Happy Hour. Honesty about all

the battles in our heads from medically diagnosed conditions, past traumas, and sexual dysfunction

to everyday compulsive negative thinking. The show is not meant to be a substitute for

professional metal counseling. It's not a doctor's office. I'm not a therapist. It's more like a

waiting room that doesn't suck. The website for this show is mentalpod.com. Go check it out,

fill out a survey. See how other people fill out surveys, read a blog, join the forum,

support the show financially. I'm sure there's something else that I'm forgetting. Oh, you could

buy a t-shirt or a coffee mug. Let's get to some surveys. This is the struggle in the sentence

survey. This one was filled out by a woman who calls herself Sequoia and about her depression,

she writes, like, I'm standing in the middle of a freeway. Cars are coming towards me and I can't move.

I don't want to move. About being a sex crime victim, she writes, six years old and laying on my back,

shaking, hiding, pushing on my stomach. And my pregnant is that how you get pregnant? And then a

snapshot from her life, she writes, I'm on the floor having a panic attack. I'm crying and

breathing is erratic. My body is limp. My sweet two-year-old son standing in his doorway,

sobbing for me. I have nothing left to give, nothing for him or for me. Knowing how fucking heart

breaking it is, I cry harder, feeling like a failure. How selfish of me to lose control in front

of him. How is this affecting him? Why can't I just get off the fucking floor and go about my

...