Welcome to episode 210 with my guest, Ariana.

I'm Paul Gilmarton. This is the Metal Illness Happy Hour.

Honesty about all the battles in our heads from medically diagnosed conditions, past traumas,

and sexual dysfunction to everyday compulsive negative thinking.

The show is not meant to be a substitute for a little trouble with that word. Substitute.

For professional metal counseling, it's not a doctor's office. It's more like a waiting room

that doesn't suck. The website for this show and the Twitter handle that you can follow me at is

MentalPod. The website is mentalpod.com. Go there, check it out, fill out a survey, see how other

people filled out their surveys, revealing their deepest, darkest thoughts and secrets in

their lives. You can read blogs by myself and other people. You can support the show, you can

browse the forum, join the forum, post them there, get to know people. A whole bunch of stuff.

MentalPod.com. Had an interesting week, pretty good for the most part, but I had, I don't know if

you guys ever get this, but I just had one of those moments today where everything just feels

gray and it was gray outside as well. I just felt like I shouldn't be

feeling blue because I've been feeling really good lately. I was with my brother and we were

golfing and it was really gray and overcast out. I looked at the, they had this sign at the

the clubhouse that said something about a pasta meal for lunch, a buffet with pasta primavera

or something and it made me want to kill myself. Just the thought of eating, it was like that was

the thing that pushed me over the edge that made me think about like maybe life's not worth living

if it's all about gray skies and eating shitty pasta at a buffet. Maybe, maybe this planet's

overrated. It's not weird how the funniest thing will, and I'm not feeling that way right now,

but it was just, it's just weird how sometimes the smallest thing will be the thing that's like,

...