210. “We make $170k—but spend like we make $450k”

Money For Couples

Ramit Sethi

Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing, Business

4.6 • 3.1K Ratings

🗓️ 27 May 2025

⏱️ 67 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Clara (29) and Devin (34) are married with three young kids, trying to build a future while juggling debt, stress, and wildly different approaches to money. Clara racked up $20,000 in credit card debt, while Devin chooses to gamble instead of investing for retirement. They earn well and own two properties, but with zero savings, 75% in fixed costs, and no shared goals, their financial foundation is crumbling. Underneath the spreadsheets and the spending is a toxic parent-child dynamic, causing Clara to feel disempowered and ashamed, while Devin’s “dreamer” mindset leads him to believe the next big win will fix everything. Can they dismantle these roles, get honest about their spending, and rebuild as true partners before it’s too late? This episode is brought to you by: Superhuman | Get a free month of lightning fast email at https://superhuman.com/ramit LMNT | Right now, LMNT is offering 8 single serving packets FREE with any LMNT order. This is a great way to try all 8 flavors. Get yours at https://drinklmnt.com/RAMIT Notion | Try Notion for free at https://Notion.com/ramit and experience the powerful, easy-to-use Notion AI today. Facet | Facet is waiving their $250 enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to https://facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Shopify | Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/ramit If you're enjoying the Money for Couples podcast, I'd love to hear more about you and what you think of the podcast. Take this five minute survey at https://iwt.com/audiopod. Links mentioned in this episode • Fill out my listener survey • Order my new book: Money for Couples Connect with Ramit • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here.

Transcript

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0:00.0	He's like, this money we make now, we spend now.
0:03.2	I think she might be low-key, a bit of a shopaholic.
0:05.8	I told her that this is not going to fly going forward.
0:08.8	I feel like he's my auditor.
0:10.5	She went a little nuclear.
0:12.0	I have accrued 20,000.
0:13.6	Was served a summon from the court.
0:15.6	Somebody sued me.
0:16.6	She is the one that I feel like needs a little bit more help. The way you're spending is like you make $450,000 a year.
0:21.8	I started contemplating of it's probably better if we're not together because I don't want to have to deal with this my whole life.
0:27.9	I've resulted the other avenues of trying to make more money.
0:31.3	Gambling and more on the collection side.
0:33.5	What the fuck?
0:34.0	Gambling on what?
0:34.9	Sports betting.
0:36.2	Is this a joke?
0:37.1	Well, we're still here.
0:38.1	Still alive.
0:38.9	Still above the water.
0:39.7	I haven't drowned yet.
0:41.3	I'm about to speak with Clara and Devin.
0:43.9	They're married with three kids, and Devin is a self-proclaimed numbers guy who works in finance.
	...

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