209. “We bought a house we can’t afford, now what?”

Money For Couples

Ramit Sethi

Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing, Business

4.6 • 3.1K Ratings

🗓️ 20 May 2025

⏱️ 84 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Sunnie (29) and Jazmyne (30) are a queer couple trying to build their life together—buy a house, bring a child into their family, and create long-term financial security. But with just one primary income and a major surgery planned for next year, every decision feels high stakes. They earn a combined $180,000 and just bought their first home; but between rising costs, paycheck-to-paycheck living, and intense pressure on Sunnie as the breadwinner, their financial conversations often swing from optimistic to explosive. With no shared plan, no savings for a wedding, and looming fears about safety and stability, can they align on a vision for their future—and build a financial plan that supports it? This episode is brought to you by: Gelt | If you’re ready for a more premium, proactive tax strategy to optimize and file your taxes, check out Gelt at https://joingelt.com/ramit. As a member of my community, you can skip the waitlist. DeleteMe | If you want to get your personal information removed from the web, go to https://joindeleteme.com/ramit for 20% off. Trust & Will | Protect what matters most in minutes at https://trustandwill.com/ramit and get 20% off plus free shipping. ZocDoc | Download the ZocDoc app for FREE at https://zocdoc.com/ramit then find and book a top-rated doctor today. Leesa | Go to https://leesa.com for 30% off mattresses + Free Sleep Bundle (2 Free Pillows and Microfiber Sheet Set), PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code ramit, exclusive for my listeners. If you're enjoying the Money for Couples podcast, I'd love to hear more about you and what you think of the podcast. Take this five-minute survey at iwt.com/podcastsurvey. Links mentioned in this episode • Fill out my listener survey • Order my new book: Money for Couples Connect with Ramit • Get Money Coaching with Ramit • Download the Conscious Spending Plan • Listen to my book—now on Audible • Get my New York Times best-selling book • Get my no-numbers journal • Other episodes • Instagram • Twitter • YouTube If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here. Produced by Crate Media.

Transcript

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0:00.0	If you're enjoying the Money for Couples podcast, I'd love to hear more from you.
0:04.1	In the show notes below, I've added a quick listener survey.
0:07.7	It helps me understand more about you and what you think of the podcast
0:11.4	so that we can constantly work on creating more episodes for you.
0:15.6	So please do me a favor, check out the show notes,
0:17.8	and take five minutes to fill out this quick survey.
0:20.1	We read every single
0:21.3	response go to iwt.com slash podcast survey if you were to ask us six months ago when we were going
0:28.8	to buy a house we would have told you six years maybe this was just not in our five year plan it wasn't
0:33.5	even in our one year plan can you afford it she'll probably say no. I worry, God forbid,
0:37.8	anything happens to him and his finances. Leaning back on me, we're going to fall. So you basically
0:43.7	doubled your expenses on housing. I brought it up to her about buying a house when the political
0:47.8	climate changed. Black, she's mixed and trans. I just thought it was really important for us to have at least property that was ours.
0:55.3	You make 147 a year and they told you you could pay $8.50 for a house. Okay.
0:59.3	Attention all lenders in America, you mother f***ers. I'm scared of doing something wrong and not being
1:07.5	able to come back from it. I really do want to make change. I'm about to talk to Sunny and Jasmine.
1:13.6	They're newly married, they just bought a house in D.C.,
1:16.6	and they have never really talked about money.
1:19.6	Their first real conversation about it happened recently over dinner,
1:24.6	and that conversation ended in silence.
1:27.8	Taking a look at their numbers, I'm going through their conscious spending plan or CSP.
1:33.3	You can download a free template at IWT.com slash CSP.
	...

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