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We Can Do Hard Things

210. Calling All Control Freaks: How to Stop Overfunctioning

We Can Do Hard Things

Treat Media and Glennon Doyle

Relationships, Education, Self-improvement, Society & Culture

4.842.7K Ratings

🗓️ 18 May 2023

⏱️ 53 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this unplanned conversation, Amanda speaks up for everyone who’s been labeled a “Control Freak” – anyone who feels like they have to hold up the entire sky for their families or businesses – when what they really want is to feel supported and safe. Amanda shares vulnerably about: how she became an overfunctioner, the blessings and curses of being one, and the practical strategies she’s using to let go – and what her partner is doing to make her feel like she can finally try to relax.   If this episode resonates, go back and listen to OVERWHELM: Is our exhaustion a sign that we’re CareTicking time bombs?

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hi everybody! We are back! Thanks for spending your time with us. Today is a

0:20.0

tripod, just the three of us. And we are discussing all of your questions that

0:28.0

just give us so much to think about. I'm going to surprise the two of you and

0:33.0

we are actually going to start with some rapid fire questions. Oh, this is fun.

0:38.0

I just feel like a little saucy today. You do? Yeah, I feel it. I feel like I want

0:43.0

to interrupt you a lot. Oh, God. And I don't know what that is. It's this energy

0:48.0

that comes into Abby where she, in the beginning of our relationship, when she got

0:53.0

like this, she would do this thing that they used to do on their soccer team, I

0:58.0

guess, where they'd be walking next to their friend. And she would stick out her foot

1:04.0

and try. Okay. Walking behind your friend. Okay, she'd be walking behind me and

1:09.0

she would try to trip me. Like while we were in our romantic period and I was

1:14.0

like, what is happening? That's something that's never happened to me while I was

1:17.0

dating. Men never tried to trip me while we were walking. I know. They just

1:21.0

did it metaphorically. Yeah, figuratively. Yeah, exactly.

1:25.0

I just did it literally. I did it one time. And then what happened? And then

1:29.0

she looked at me one this way that that scared me. Well, you like to play and we have

1:35.0

had some moments recently, just sister the other day. Is it the thing where you

1:41.0

need? I do it to my kids all the time. It's so fun where you, while they're

1:45.0

walking, you like knee them right in the knee so they're legs buckle. No, it's

1:49.0

different. But that's great. And start what the hell? No, it's different because

1:53.0

it's fine. Yeah, you swoop their leg. You kick their one foot into the other.

1:57.0

So they literally they kick themselves. It's hilarious. I want you to know that I

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