207 Soothing the Pain of Rejection

I Have ADHD Podcast

Kristen Carder

Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Education, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.8K Ratings

🗓️ 18 April 2023

⏱️ 34 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The last episode of the rejection series is a good one on how to respond to and soothe the pain from rejection. Like eating something super cold or hot with sensitive teeth, adults with ADHD tend to react more strongly to rejection than others. Due to repeated rejection, we’ve developed maladaptive coping mechanisms that do not benefit us in the long-run.

Avoidance, people-pleasing and perfectionism are responses that many of us identify with as a way of limiting the amount of rejection in our lives. These serve us in the short-term, but they limit our growth potential and can be downright emotionally exhausting. These three coping mechanisms can be replaced with productive strategies, however, which I have double the options for!

I even offer a free course on addressing perfectionism at ihaveadhd.com/perfect.

The last, and perhaps the most important, of the productive strategies is to surround yourself with safe people. If you’re struggling with finding a strong, encouraging community, come join my group coaching program FOCUSED with similar adults working on becoming their best regulated selves.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the I-H have ADHD podcast where it's all about education, encouragement and
0:11.1	coaching for adults with ADHD.
0:14.0	I'm your host Kristen Carter and I have ADHD.
0:18.0	Let's chat about the frustrations, humor, and challenges of adulting, relationships, working, and achieving with this neurodevelopmental disorder.
0:27.0	I'll help you understand your unique brain, unlock your potential, and move from point A to point B.
0:34.0	Hey what's up?
0:38.0	This is Kristen Carter and you're listening to the I have
0:41.0	ADHD podcast.
0:42.0	I am medicated, I am
0:45.0	regulated, and I am ready to roll. It is a gorgeous April day here in the
0:51.2	Philly suburbs and I am so grateful that spring is finally springing.
0:57.0	Winter just feels so long around these parts and I'm so so excited for warmer weather longer days
1:06.8	green trees all of the things I am just so so so relieved that it is finally
1:15.5	finally happening and I hope that whatever the weather is
1:18.5	in your area of the world that you are enjoying it
1:21.1	and that you're grateful for it that you're able to get outside and enjoy it.
1:26.7	Today we are wrapping up our series on rejection and oh my word, this has been an intense experience for me.
1:34.0	I finally said the things that I've been wanting to say for four years, but have been too afraid to say them.
1:40.0	Did you know that I put off recording these episodes for four years because of my own rejection sensitivity issues?
1:48.6	That's true. I've had these thoughts for so long, but I haven't been able to externalize them on a large scale,
1:57.4	like for this podcast, because I've been massively afraid of being rejected.
2:02.3	That's so ironic, right? The irony of it all. But after
	...

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