207: Gretchen Rubin - Are You An Upholder, Questioner, Obliger Or A Rebel?
The Jesse Chappus Show
Jesse Chappus
4.6 • 1.6K Ratings
🗓️ 27 December 2017
⏱️ 59 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Gretchen Rubin is one of today's most influential and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature.
She's the author of many books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers The Four Tendencies, Better Than Before, and The Happiness Project.
On Gretchen's top-ranking, award-winning podcast "Happier with Gretchen Rubin," she discusses happiness and good habits with her sister Elizabeth Craft.
In this episode, we discuss:
- How Gretchen came up with the concept of her new book, The Four Tendencies
- Inner and outer expectations
- Upholders, questioners, obligers, and rebels
- Always beware of an upholder offering advice on how to do something
- Does your tendency ever change?
- Can a major life event impact your tendency?
- Speak the language of the person you're speaking to
- Upholders need to be on alert for "tightening"
- Questioners can sometimes drain and overwhelm others with their constant questioning
- A deep irony within the questioner tendency
- Obligers need outer accountability
- Obliger rebellion
- How to handle a rebel
- 2 upholders in a romantic relationship (Marni & Jesse)
- Not being confined by our tendencies
- We're all different and different things work for different people
Show sponsors:
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Related links:
Gretchen Rubin - The Four Tendencies (book)
Follow Gretchin Rubin on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter
Gretchen Rubin - Better Than Before (book)
Gretchen Rubin - The Happiness Project (book)
Happier with Gretchen Rubin (podcast)
Listen to Gretchen Rubin previously on TUHP (episode #37)
Related episodes:
321: Neil Pasricha – You Are Awesome, Intentional Living, Becoming Anti-Fragile
279: Sally Hogshead – How To Fascinate • Unlearn Boring • Finding Balance In The Workplace
265: Neil Pasricha – How To Be Happy • Untouchable Days • Find Your Authentic Self
263: Jonathan Fields – Uncovering The Work That Sparks You
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | The people around rebels often get in the way of rebels because when we ask or tell them to do something we ignite that spirit of resistance. |
| 0:07.0 | You gotta let the rebel do it so you cannot protect them or rescue them from negative consequences or else like why are they going to do anything |
| 0:13.3 | differently? |
| 0:20.3 | Hello and |
| 0:23.4 | we are here. Jesse Chapp is here with Marnie Wasserman and we are here on a weekly basis to take your health to the next level. |
| 0:30.1 | This week our featured guest is Gretchen Rubin and she's one of today's most influential |
| 0:35.1 | and thought-provoking observers of happiness and human nature. |
| 0:38.9 | She's the author of many books including The Blockbuster, New York Times, Besters the four tendencies better than before in the |
| 0:46.3 | happiness project on Gretchen's top-ranking award-winning podcast happier with |
| 0:51.1 | Gretchen Rubin she discusses happiness and good habits with her sister |
| 0:54.8 | Elizabeth Kraft. This is Gretchen's second time on the show. Her first appearance was |
| 0:59.7 | all the way back episode number 37 and we're excited to chat about her new book the |
| 1:05.1 | four tendencies. I really love reading Gretchen's books they're always so clear |
| 1:08.8 | and concise and to the point and the four tendencies is an amazing read and the goal of this book is to find out |
| 1:15.1 | how you respond to inner and outer expectations and she has established four |
| 1:19.7 | different tendencies that you would fall into so you can go ahead and take the quiz, |
| 1:24.1 | find out your dominant tendency, and you're going to learn so much from it. And the four different |
| 1:28.7 | tendencies are upholder, obliger, questioner, and Rebel. |
| 1:32.8 | So find out who you are and you are going to get a lot of insight even just from listening |
| 1:36.8 | to our interview. |
| 1:37.8 | So here we go with Gretchen Rubin. |
| 1:40.5 | Hello Gretchen, welcome back to the show. |
... |
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