206. Getting Unstuck: When Parts of You Are in Conflict (And How to Find Relief)

The Best of You

Dr. Alison Cook

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.9 • 958 Ratings

🗓️ 30 April 2026

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

What if the reason you feel stuck… isn’t because something is wrong with you, but because different parts of you are pulling in different directions? We all know that feeling: one part of you wants to follow through, while another part resists. And often, one side takes over… leaving you with regret or confusion afterward. In this episode, Dr. Alison is joined by IFS therapist and best-selling author Jenna Riemersma to explore what’s really happening beneath that inner conflict and how to respond differently. Because the goal isn’t to fight those parts of you. It’s to understand them. Together, they walk through Jenna’s simple, practical framework that helps you move toward yourself with curiosity and compassion instead of shame or control. You’ll explore: Why the parts of you that frustrate you most may be trying to help What keeps you stuck in the same inner battles again and again The surprising shift that can calm the conflict inside How to know when to share what’s happening inside you—and when it’s wiser to protect yourself What real relief can look like when you stop fighting yourself If you’ve ever felt stuck in cycles of overthinking, self-criticism, or reacting in ways you later regret, this conversation will help you understand why and what to do in the moment. Want to go deeper? Get Jenna’s new book, Move Toward. Get Jenna's free Guided Meditations and Journaling Worksheets here. Connect further with ⁠@dralisoncook⁠ on Instagram Join 80,000+ soul tenders in our email community and receive weekly reflections and gentle practices on parts work ⁠here⁠. Want to hear more like this? Start here: Episode 160: When You Feel Unwanted—Meeting the Parts of You That Long to Belong with IFS Therapist Tammy Sollenberger Episode 108: Inside Out—Internal Family Systems, Therapy, and High-Performing Protectors with Jenna Riemersma 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts! Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU! AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	One part of me wants to eat all the Oreos and another part of me wants me to go to the gym.
0:05.0	And those two parts of me are at war with each other.
0:08.5	What happens is one part of us will take over and we will react from that part of us
0:15.2	and then afterwards we'll have regret or remorse.
0:18.7	And it turns out that just like with a friend, when we listen to them and find out what
0:23.5	they want us to know and find out if there's anything they need from us, they calm down and
0:28.7	they feel cared for and they feel seen and less likely to become really activated.
0:33.7	And the same is true in our inner relationships with these parts of ourselves. It's a very
0:39.2	counterintuitive, but very powerful.
0:48.1	Hey everyone and welcome back to this week's deep dive episode of The Best of You. I'm Dr.
0:52.9	Allison and I'm so excited about today's
0:55.6	conversation. If you've been around this podcast for a while, you know that I talk a lot about the
1:01.3	work of understanding what's happening inside of us, the inner conflicts, the tension, the parts of
1:08.7	ourselves that sometimes pull us in completely different directions.
1:14.0	And if you read my book with Kimberly Miller, Boundaries for Your Soul, I know many of you have,
1:18.4	I know that's a book that has brought many of you to this place.
1:22.1	So you know that making this inner work practical and accessible is something I care a lot about.
1:28.3	It's a big part of why I do what I do here on the podcast and everything I do.
1:33.3	So when I come across others who are doing a similar kind of work and doing it beautifully, I get really excited.
1:39.3	And this is exactly what my guest today has done with her brand new book.
1:43.3	My dear friend and fellow
1:45.5	therapist, Jenna Reimsorma, is back on the podcast today. And I have so been looking forward to
	...

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