You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience relationships and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships.

I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg,

and I'm really glad you're here.

Hey, everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment.

In today's episode, we are talking about how to become someone that you actually like. So if you've been around here

a while, you've probably heard me speak about self-love and my views on teaching self-love,

which are that while self-love is a beautiful thing to aim for, a lot of us who really struggle

with low self-esteem, low self-confidence,

low self-worth can feel like self-love as a goal is really, really far away.

And I know for me, when I was earlier on in my personal development journey,

the idea of self-love felt like a performance.

It felt really disingenuous for me to engage with self-love

related content because it was just so incongruent with my reality and what my inner

relationship really looked and felt like. And so it felt a bit forced. And I think that was really

discouraging in some ways because, you know,

it felt like all of these people on Instagram and on the internet are really nailing this

self-love thing and that's just not how I feel about myself. So, you know, maybe that's just not

for me. And maybe you relate to that feeling a little deflated or falling into comparison traps around what self-love

is meant to look and feel like and the fact that it doesn't come easily to you mean there's

something wrong with you. So for all of those reasons, my preference and what I find to be more

effective is teaching things like self-worth, self-respect, self-esteem, and tangible actions, things that we can

focus on to actively cultivate those qualities with a view to becoming someone that you like.

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