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Ghostrunners

20 - Can I get a refill on my burger?

Ghostrunners

Jake Triplett

Stand-up, Improv, Comedy

4.92.3K Ratings

🗓️ 23 September 2019

⏱️ 72 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Brad and Jake discuss their most irrationally strong opinions. Jake is decently upset at the McDonald's ice cream machine. Brad is extremely upset at Connor. Both are the opposite of upset with Patrick Mahomes. Follow us on Instagram: http://bit.ly/33WAq4P Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

His speech is called Go for it. Now he's used to big groups so make it feel like there's a crowd here.

0:04.8

Matt come on up buddy. All right, how is everybody? Good, good, good. Now as your father probably told you, my name is Matt Foley and I'm a motivational speaker.

0:19.0

Now let's get started by me giving you a little bit of a scenario of what my life is all about.

0:26.7

First off, I am 35 years old, I am divorced, and I live in a van down by the river. Now you kids are probably saying to yourself,

0:36.4

now I'm going to go out and I'm going to get the world by the tail and wrap it around and put it in my pocket.

0:43.0

Lobby or tell you that you're probably going to find out

0:47.0

as you go out there that you're not going to amount to Jack Squad.

0:52.0

You're going to end up eating a steady diet. to Jack Squad! Squad!

0:53.0

You're going to end up eating a steady diet of government cheese

0:56.0

and living in a van down by the river.

1:00.0

Now, young man, what do you want to do with your life?

1:03.0

I, uh, actually mad, I kind of want to be a writer.

1:07.0

Well, Lonnie Frinkin da!

1:11.0

We've got ourselves a writer here.

1:13.0

Hey Dad, I can't see real good.

1:15.0

Is that Bill Shakespeare over there?

1:18.0

Well, actually, Matt, Ellen and I have encouraged Brian in his writing.

1:22.0

Dad, I wish you would just shut your big yapper!

1:25.0

Now I wonder, Brian, but what I've heard,

1:30.0

you using your paper, not for writing but for rolling doobies

1:35.7

You're gonna be able to do a lot of do-be roll-roll-in when you're living in a van down by the river

1:45.0

Now young lady, what do you want to do with your life? I want to live in a van down by the river.

...

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