Welcome back to the savvy psychologist. I'm Dr. Ellen Hendrickson and every week I'll help you

meet life's challenges with evidence-based research, a sympathetic ear, and zero judgment.

All-crime is not created equal.

There are times when it's appropriate,

your best friend's wedding,

after a heart-shattering breakup,

for the first time you hold your grandchild.

But there are also times and places our culture has decided it's

inappropriate to cry like at work or school. But many of us struggle with

seemingly random crying,

including listener Jessica, who wrote in and asked

how to avoid bursting into tears,

whether in the conference room at work,

or attempting to get past page two of the giving tree with her kids.

Now originally I had intended this week's episode to cover only how to hold back tears.

But in diving into the research, I found that many of the truisms about crying are wrong, or at least partially wrong.

Therefore, this week will cover two big myths of crying and round it out with how to access the shot-off valve for your own

waterworks. Okay first, so why do we cry? Well, interestingly, humans are really bad at pinpointing why we cry.

When asked, most of us report that we cry when we're physically hurt or someone we care

about gets married, dumps us, or dies.

Now those all make sense, but it turns out those are the prototypical reasons to cry, not the

actual reasons we often cry. When researchers ask about the most

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