196. Voldemort Zelenskyy

Lifeline

Chris D'Elia & Matt D'Elia

Mental Health, Society & Culture, Comedy, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 760 Ratings

🗓️ 25 January 2026

⏱️ 67 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

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Transcript

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0:00.0	I had that dream again. My small business needs IT help.
0:03.0	But I don't use LinkedIn and I hire wrong.
0:06.0	So then I'm doing IT.
0:07.0	And when I go to plug the servers in, they become sentient.
0:10.0	And they won't net us access to the network unless we forward their chain emails and memes to 10 other people.
0:14.0	And then I wake up.
0:16.0	Don't let hiring nightmares ruin your dreams.
0:19.0	LinkedIn Jobs' new AI assistant finds and invites best fit candidates to apply
0:22.9	so you can discover talent you otherwise would have messed.
0:25.5	Get 50% of your first job post at LinkedIn.com slash AI hire.
0:28.8	Terms and conditions apply.
0:32.2	Runk.
0:32.6	Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
0:51.2	Hello. Hello. You know what? You know what, dude, it is Lifeline episode 106.
0:53.7	We're inching up on episode 200. Happy birthday to,
0:59.1	well, first of all, January 25th. So happy birthday to, and I know this off the top of my head,
1:04.3	Alicia Keys. Good luck with this one. And Zelensky. Well, Voldemore. Voldemort. Voldemort. Voltaire. Oh, political. Being political within minute one, within the first half minute. Well, it's his birthday. So everyone gets to have a birthday. Even politicians. We're not going to wish Putin a happy birthday. I'm sorry. I'm getting, oh, political. Oh, so you wouldn't. Oh, yeah, I guess you wouldn't. I wouldn't do that. Not wish anyone a happy bird this year, I guess so. I didn't think about that, really. Yeah. But it doesn't matter because, like, you know, a lot of people think that Voldemort comes from, you know, he's misunderstood. And Harry Potter, you know, needs to be more understanding.
1:45.8	So shout out to Legends for sponsoring this show.
1:48.5	Legends is a free-to-play social casino and sports book.
1:52.4	Check it out at Legends.com.
1:53.9	That's Legends with a Z.
1:55.5	You can go on our Patreon and get more episodes, more episodes.
	...

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