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Hello Dysfunction

195: This Disease I Have

Hello Dysfunction

Hello Dysfunction

Comedy, Improv

51.8K Ratings

🗓️ 11 December 2022

⏱️ 82 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Pata Fria is sick. It’s a painful sick.
Don’t ask people if they just woke up.
Keep an eye out for the local serial masturbator.
If your burps stink please stay home.
Sick dreams have been so fun and Suga Free is cancelled.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hi kids. Hi, we're back. You're gonna fall and I'm dying. I probably shouldn't even be here. I'm sick. I am part of the

0:29.8

group from the dick of the population that keeps posting negative COVID tests but we feel like we're

0:37.1

dying. I don't know what's happening. Green shit. I've been sick as fuck for probably a little

0:43.6

over a week now. I've been sick on and off. I was sick for a little bit like three weeks ago. I got

0:49.3

better and then I got sick again and I never get fucking sick. Yeah. I started with the sore throat

0:56.8

and shit. Then that went away and it turned into sinus pressure so every day I feel like I'm

1:01.8

hitting the face with a bat. Yeah. The roof of my mouth hurts so fucking bad which is a weird ass

1:07.2

pain to have. My whole upper jaw hurts and just pressure. So I want to drill holes in my head

1:14.7

to relieve it. So much fucking pressure. And the baby been sick for like over a month but she's

1:21.1

better now. Thank God. She's completely better. So I'm like keeping my fingers crossed.

1:26.4

We're staying in a bubble. Yeah. Hopefully you don't circle around again. Yeah because it's been

1:31.6

going back and forth. Yeah. We'll host holes. Will's whole house is hell is sick. Haminless at

1:39.4

half COVID. The kids do not. They have RSV. Just everybody is fucking Richard's been really fucking sick.

1:47.7

It's so gross. I wake up. I can't talk. I don't have no voice. And then I got to like loosen and

1:53.4

cough out the disease. Yeah. So disgusting. Oh my god. I hate it. And I haven't been able to

2:01.1

go anywhere. So like that's the worst too. I haven't been able to I wanted to get my nails done.

2:05.6

I wanted to fucking go to Costco. I wanted to know record. I want there's so many things I

2:12.3

needed and wanted to do. I can't do shit. Every day though. I'm a little bit better. So

2:18.8

I did a doctor's appointment phone appointment and they called me in antibiotics on some just

2:24.0

in case shit. But since I'm slowly getting better every day. I'm not going to take them because

2:30.9

I don't think I guess I don't need them. Did your doctors. The girls doctor. I know peace doctors

2:36.0

said prepare to just go through this back and forth to tell Mars. They didn't warn me about that.

...

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