#193: The Gifts of Anxious Attachment
On Attachment
Stephanie Rigg
4.9 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 17 June 2025
⏱️ 12 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
While it’s easy to focus on the struggles of anxious attachment — overthinking, people-pleasing, fear of abandonment — there are also real gifts that often go hand-in-hand with these attachment patterns. When held with awareness and intention, many of the traits we associate with anxious attachment can become powerful strengths in our relationships and our lives.
I’ll be exploring:
- Why it’s important to move beyond pathologising anxious attachment
- The qualities that often develop through lived experience with this pattern
- How your sensitivity, attunement, and relational depth can become assets
- The difference between operating from fear vs. secure self-expression
- How to start embracing your relational gifts without losing yourself
Whether you're in the thick of healing or just starting to understand your patterns, I hope this episode leaves you feeling acknowledged for all that is beautiful about you!
Highlighted Links
- Free Break-Up Training: The 3 Shifts That Help Anxiously Attached People Heal After a Break-up
- Free Training: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love
Additional Resources
- Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
- Join my email list 💌
- Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
- Visit my website
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You're listening to On Attachment, a place to learn about how attachment shapes the way we experience |
| 0:09.9 | relationships and where you'll gain the guidance, knowledge and practical tools to overcome |
| 0:15.6 | insecurity and build healthy, thriving relationships. |
| 0:19.7 | I'm your host, relationship coach Stephanie Rigg, |
| 0:22.8 | and I'm really glad you're here. |
| 0:28.6 | Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of On Attachment. In today's episode, we are talking |
| 0:34.3 | about something a little different, which is the gifts of anxious attachment. |
| 0:38.5 | I put a post on Instagram up a couple of weeks ago on the beautiful traits of anxious attachment, |
| 0:43.1 | and it really resonated with people. And I received so many lovely comments of people thanking |
| 0:47.1 | me for shining a light on some of the positive attributes of anxiously attached people, because |
| 0:52.8 | naturally we spend so much time |
| 0:54.9 | talking about the things that are hard and the traits that might make relationships difficult |
| 0:59.3 | or the low self-worth, all of the things that we feel are quote unquote wrong with us as anxiously |
| 1:05.7 | attached people. And so I thought it might be nice to shift focus to all of the things that are beautiful about folks with anxious attachment, the traits that I see as being absolute gifts and that make you a beautiful partner, friend, colleague, family member because there is truly so much goodness in anxiously attached people. And I think it's important that we acknowledge that and |
| 1:29.3 | really own those gifts rather than always seeing ourselves as some sort of project that needs |
| 1:33.9 | fixing or a problem that needs solving. So that's what we're going to be talking about today. |
| 1:38.4 | Quick announcement before I do, my Secure Self Challenge kicked off two days ago. If you want to |
| 1:43.4 | sneak in, I'll leave registration open for the next couple of days, |
| 1:47.0 | after which I will close doors for this round until maybe end of this year or early next |
| 1:51.6 | year is likely to be the next time I run the challenge. |
| 1:54.1 | So if you're interested in spending four weeks with me diving deep into building self-worth |
| 1:58.4 | in a really supportive community space. I would love to have you |
... |
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