192-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Tom Segura

Comedy, Relationships, Society & Culture, Tv & Film, Comedy Interviews

4.7 • 23.4K Ratings

🗓️ 29 January 2014

⏱️ 61 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It's not bad to consider that if you're not good at something then you should quit! And if you don't quit then hopefully Eric Kelly will appear at the thing you're not good at and make fun of you. On camera. Shout out to all the little mommies that are down for the git down! We give you a proper salute. The live show was the Jimmy Jam and you the man, man. Sometimes when people who love each other eat together, they also end up blowing burp wind on each other (or just one way). The C-word is a fun word. Stop being so sensitive, you stupid C-word. We wear are JEANS so high for YOU!!!

Transcript

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0:00.0	It was one thing I can't stand its noise. I can't stand noise. Remember that?
0:08.1	I got to say it. I can't stand noise. It's from old cartoon.
0:13.9	Yeah.
0:14.9	Okay. I like for it. Forkarnleckhorn was like just a metaphor for an old racist southern
0:21.2	white guy, right? Yeah. Also, also, also. He's everybody's grand-pappy.
0:26.0	Not mine. Grand-pappy, I say these blacks. Yeah, right. That's what Foghorn-leghorn should
0:34.2	have been talking about. That's what he definitely should have been talking about.
0:36.7	He's fucking blacks. Oh, I'll say the blacks are rowing on everything.
0:40.7	I say it. I say it. What do you got? Yo, dog. Check it out. Check it out, dog.
0:48.9	Dog. I'm saying. Dog. I'm saying. I will be at Helium in Portland, Oregon. February 6th,
1:01.5	February 6th through the 8th. I'm very excited to go to Portland. I hope you guys come out
1:07.0	and see your filthy dirty jeans. Then February 13th through 16th, I'm at the Chicago Improv
1:17.8	in Schomburg with my main mommy. Wait a minute. Was that an admission? Maybe. No.
1:27.0	Of course not. But I love you and I will be celebrating Valentine's Day there. What are
1:31.7	we going to do for Valentine's? It's a very rare time when we're together on the road.
1:35.3	We don't get to do that very often to do stand-up together. But have you taken the effort
1:40.1	to buy me very expensive gifts to show your love? I have spent everything I've saved over
1:45.1	the years for this one day. I want you to take out your savings to buy me stuff. I absolutely
1:50.3	will. Then my dirtiest little jeans. I'm going to Tacoma, the Tacoma Comedy Club. Right
2:00.5	before that actually, I just added. Just added. Hot off the press. I'm going to Raleigh,
2:06.7	North Carolina. Charlie Goodnights. But trying to go to North Cacalacca for a while now.
2:11.9	So I'm coming. They don't like it when you call it that. I went to school in Cacalacca.
	...

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