192 SelfWork: Are You Embarrassed To Be Embarrassed?
The SelfWork Podcast
Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
4.8 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 7 August 2020
⏱️ 23 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Today we’re going to talk about embarrassment. I was listening to Brené Brown's relatively new podcast called Unlocking Us and heard her use a term I didn’t know. The term was self-conscious emotions and embarrassment is one of them. In this episode sponsored by BetterHelp, we'll cover how young you are when you can feel embarrassment, what you can learn from failure, and the positive aspects of embarrassment. You might be surprised!
I’ve often said you learn a lot more from failure – and I personally have done just that. But how does it get to be something you can learn from rather than something you must avoid at all costs? Why is it that some people cannot tolerate being embarrassed and thus live extremely risk averse lives?
The listener email today is from a woman who only recently revealed sexual abuse to her therapist – before not even deeming it important enough to discuss - and how those revelations are changing her for the better.
Important Links:
BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!
A Time article featuring Brené Brown's answers to ten questions
Dr. Michael Lewis’ research on embarrassment and child development
Tyson Hartnett article on fearing failure
Article in LifeScience by Remy Melina about positive aspects embarrassment
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!
Now there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is self-work and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. |
| 0:13.0 | At self-work, we'll discuss psychological and emotional issues common in today's world |
| 0:19.0 | and what to do about them. |
| 0:20.0 | I'm Dr. Margaret and self-work is a podcast dedicated to you taking just a few minutes today for your own self-work. |
| 0:30.0 | Hello and welcome to self-work. I'm Dr. MargaretWorks. I'm a clinical psychologist out of Fayetteville, Arkansas, |
| 0:36.4 | and I started Self-Works almost four years ago now |
| 0:39.6 | in order to reach those of you who might just want some new information and knowledge. |
| 0:43.9 | Maybe you're already in therapy or you've worked in therapy with a psychologist or a mental health |
| 0:47.7 | professional. |
| 0:48.7 | Maybe you've just been diagnosed with depression or anxiety or you're having a relationship problem that you can't |
| 0:54.0 | seem to surmount. But I'm also reaching out to those of you who might never think that |
| 0:59.5 | you would darken the door of a therapist, but you're just curious enough and you're searching enough to want some answers. the |
| 1:03.4 | of therapist to want some answers. So welcome to all of you. |
| 1:08.2 | Today on this podcast sponsored by Better Help. |
| 1:11.2 | We're going to talk about embarrassment. The embarrassment of |
| 1:14.6 | trying and failing. I was listening to Britay Brown's relatively new podcast |
| 1:19.0 | called Unlocking Us and heard her use a term I didn't know so I looked it up. The term was |
| 1:25.0 | self-conscious emotion. What does that mean? We'll go into it. |
| 1:28.6 | Basically what self-conscious emotions mean is that their emotions require introspection. |
| 1:35.7 | They don't come like fear or anger rapidly and almost without thought. |
| 1:40.1 | So when thinking about failure and embarrassment, I've often said you learned a lot more from failure, |
| 1:45.0 | and I certainly personally have done just that. |
... |
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