190 - The Captain's Log of the S.S. Forneus

Episode One

Comedy

4.8 • 858 Ratings

🗓️ 12 August 2021

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Aboard the S.S. Forneus, Captain Trolley (@necrobranson), First Mate Giles Crowe (@intellegint), and Navigator Wendigo Brewer (@charlesraustin) try to keep the peace as Reid Gimball's flat earth doom cruise gets out of control. Shop the new E1 merch store: https://www.hellomerch.com/collections/e1-podcast

Transcript

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0:00.0	The following is an archive podcast presented by the Branson and Hudson Foundation for Podcast Recovery.
0:05.6	This podcast is entitled The Captain's Log of the SS Fourneous.
0:09.9	It is the first and only episode of the podcast.
0:12.8	Welcome to episode one.
0:16.8	Are you tired of the minor world?
0:18.5	Do you simultaneously understand that the past is an objectively
0:22.3	better place in the present, as well as the fact that hoping for a return to traditional values
0:27.0	like hard work and age of consent is never going to happen in America? Does the idea of a person in
0:32.8	their 30s with teal hair make you want to fucking puke? Are dogs always licking you because you look like a peanut shell.
0:40.8	The world may not want you anywhere else, old timer, but we need you on our cruise.
0:45.7	Hey, guess what else?
0:47.5	Do you have strange ideas about the world and government?
0:50.3	The government is lying to you.
0:52.1	They are telling you that it is not safe to go on a cruise just because they are afraid of
0:56.8	what you are going to learn on my cruise.
0:59.8	It's all fake.
1:00.8	COVID, the government, the CIA was actually invented by the Catholic Church in 1911.
1:06.4	Want to hear more?
1:07.4	I'd love to tell you right now, but you gotta learn it on my cruise. Hey there. Yeah, you,
1:12.6	you, pay attention. Do you wanna die? Have you seen all the world has to offer and you're
1:18.0	ready to check out? Get on my cruise. Are you an elderly man who enjoys his social life to the
1:24.4	extent that he doesn't care if he lives or dies? Are you a guy who thinks
	...

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