189. Sex and Grief - Common Myths

You Are Not Broken

Kelly Casperson, MD

Medicine, Health & Fitness

5 • 743 Ratings

🗓️ 11 December 2022

⏱️ 35 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Krista St-Germain is a Master Certified Life Coach, Post-Traumatic Growth and grief expert, widow, mom and host of The Widowed Mom Podcast. When her husband was killed by a drunk driver in 2016, Krista’s life was completely and unexpectedly flipped upside down. After therapy helped her uncurl from the fetal position, Krista discovered Life Coaching, Post Traumatic Growth and learned the tools she needed to move forward and create a future she could get excited about. Now she coaches and teaches other widows so they can love life again, too. The brain love interpretation and drama. Tell us your story of how you became a coach for widowed moms. How to define grief – a natural response to perceived loss. When sex is appropriate while grieving? How does grief work? Grief is not golf. How to respond to someone experiencing grief. “Feelings are not problems to solve” – Krysta St. Germain 8 myths about sex and grief - You just want physical touch, not sex - If you want sex again it means you didn’t love your person of loss - The first year is the hardest/you shouldn’t have sex the first year - If you don’t want sex there is something wrong with you - You should wait for sex until you are done grieving - If you want sex then you must be trying to escape your grief - Escaping your grief is wrong - You can have sex again until it is “the one” - You aren’t ready to have sex until you don’t have strong emotions Sex after a health diagnosis https://www.instagram.com/lifecoachkrista/ coachingwithkrista.com https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-widowed-mom-podcast/id1468127632 https://www.facebook.com/coachingwithkrista/ Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes. www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership Our podcast sponsor is Bonafide Bonafide products help women embrace the natural changes that occur throughout all phases of life. Discount code for 20% off:NOTBROKEN Sales link: https://hellobonafide.com/notbroken --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	You are listening to You Are Not Broken, the only podcast that combines science, medicine, and psychology to re-educate your brain and help you live your best love life.
0:11.5	And I'm your host, board certified female urologist, Dr. Kelly Casperson.
0:16.1	Hey friends, welcome back.
0:17.7	I'm so excited today to have on Master Life Coach, Krista St. Germain,
0:21.3	who is all about intimacy, relationships, everything after having a loss or a grief in your life.
0:28.7	She's the host of the Widowed Mom podcast. And you had quite a traumatic event with your
0:34.4	intimate relationship. Thank you so much for coming on to talk to us about grief
0:39.1	and intimacy and sex after loss. Yeah, pleasure to be here. I love that people want to talk about it.
0:45.3	It's huge. I mean, it's the big, you probably know this. It's like the big, like, untalkable thing.
0:50.5	What I see, what I see a lot, I don't know what you see on your end, but like, I don't deserve to have
0:55.2	pleasure again. I don't deserve to have joy again after a loss. Or I can't, I can't trust my
1:02.0	desires to have pleasure. Oh, why can't we trust them? What are people thinking there? Oh,
1:06.8	because don't you, don't you know that you don't, you can't? This is one of my most favorite ridiculous things I've
1:14.5	ever heard, but it's actually quite prevalent is that after you've lost someone that you don't
1:18.7	really want physical connection or sex, you know, you just want, you don't know what you want,
1:23.5	basically. You're confused. Is it another thing of that of like, I can't be happy again
1:27.8	because it'll just lose it again? For sure. But even I think before we get there, we have so
1:33.5	many rules around sex and when we can have it and desire and when it's appropriate and, you know,
1:40.4	what any of that means about our love for our late person or the past relationship
1:45.1	if they didn't die. And then also just this idea that in grief, we don't know what we want.
1:50.2	We're too confused. There's so many valuable conversations we could have. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,
1:55.5	I see a lot, a lot of people I come to see me in clinic, the, I can stereotypically, but the husband
	...

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