188 SelfWork: Four Steps Toward Risking the Unfamiliar
The SelfWork Podcast
Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
4.8 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 10 July 2020
⏱️ 27 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Risking the unfamiliar is something I focus on with almost every client I see, because we all get in the habit of adopting one emotional “face” – or have one emotion that’s our primary go-to response to almost anything. Some of those responses are more healthy than others, but the point of this episode will be to wonder what would happen if you risked feeling something you don’t ordinarily feel?
We'll talk about what's called The Karpman Triangle a bit, which is when someone is stuck in a victim/savior/persecutor response set. And I'll give four steps on how to risk feeling or saying or doing something unfamiliar. It can be transformative.
The listener email for today is from a young woman who in the last six months has experienced unbelievable trials – and now is suffering from a desire to be invisible and alone. I’ll do my best to help her understand that what she’s experiencing is tremendous trauma.
Important Links:
BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!
A well-written Forbes article describing The Karpman Triangle response set
This extremely poignant article by Courtney Enlow on depression and wanting to become invisible.
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!
Now there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is self-work and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. |
| 0:13.0 | At self-work we'll discuss psychological and emotional issues common in today's world |
| 0:19.0 | and what to do about them. |
| 0:20.0 | I'm Dr. Margaret and self-work is a podcast dedicated to you taking just a few minutes today for your own self-work. |
| 0:29.0 | Hello and welcome to self-work. I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford, I'm a clinical psychologist, |
| 0:34.3 | and I live in Fable, Arkansas. I've been here almost 27 years and have practiced |
| 0:38.8 | here the whole time. I started this podcast to extend the walls of my practice to those of you who might already |
| 0:46.0 | be very interested in therapeutic, emotional ideas, maybe in therapy, to those of you who may |
| 0:51.9 | have just been diagnosed with something that you're |
| 0:54.6 | looking for answers to or perhaps you're having a relationship problem that you can't |
| 0:58.8 | quite mend but also to a third group of you that have let the stigma of mental illness treatment prevent |
| 1:04.9 | you from ever reaching out or maybe just some assumptions you've made about the mental health profession. |
| 1:11.2 | So I'm here to help you challenge those as you listen in on what |
| 1:15.2 | at least this therapist has to say. |
| 1:18.3 | Today I was motivated by response to one of my Instagram postings this week. I'm doing a series called what I've learned as a therapist. |
| 1:25.0 | Actually did it last year as well and I heard from so many people that I decided to do it again and will post a hundred days in a row |
| 1:32.0 | keep my fingers crossed by the time this airs I think |
| 1:35.8 | I'll be on day 19 but you can see them all if you're interested anyway someone |
| 1:40.8 | put such an inspiring response to the post that I was blown away. |
| 1:44.0 | The post itself talked about familiar pain versus unfamiliar pain and that we |
| 1:50.0 | often choose familiar pain simply because it's familiar. |
| 1:54.7 | Risking unfamiliar pain is something I focus on with almost every client I see because we all |
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