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The Sabrina Zohar Show

188: If You’re Losing Yourself in Relationships, This Episode Is For You

The Sabrina Zohar Show

Sabrina Zohar

Relationships, Mental Health, Education, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.95.5K Ratings

🗓️ 13 February 2026

⏱️ 32 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, Sabrina breaks down self-abandonment in dating and relationships, why losing yourself often gets mislabeled as love, and how chronic people-pleasing, codependency, and anxious attachment actually form. Using psychology, neuroscience, and attachment theory, she explains differentiation of self, emotional fusion, and how the nervous system drives self-betrayal, protest behavior, and fear of abandonment in romantic relationships. You’ll learn how to choose yourself without blowing up your relationship, stop outsourcing emotional regulation, set boundaries without guilt, and reconnect to your intuition versus anxiety. This episode is essential for anyone struggling with relationship anxiety, overgiving, losing their voice in dating, or repeating unhealthy relationship patterns. Big announcement: For the first time ever, I'm hosting a live workshop and you're invited. If dating feels exhausting and you can't figure out why it keeps ending the same way, this is for you. You'll be the first to learn my new 3-step framework for understanding what's keeping you stuck and how to change it. Plus you get my implementation workbook. REGISTER HERE! Get Ad free HERE!Want to work with Sabrina? HERE!Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show HERE!Don't forget to follow Sabrina and The Sabrina Zohar Show on Instagram and Sabrina on TikTok! Video now available on YOUTUBE! ============================= Chapters 00:00 – Are You Losing Yourself in Love? 03:05 – When “Compromise” Is Self-Betrayal 06:00 – Why You Fuse in Relationships 08:55 – Codependency Isn’t the Real Issue 11:55 – Anxiety vs Intuition in Dating 14:55 – Why Your Nervous System Panics 18:10 – How Self-Abandonment Shows Up 21:50 – Boundaries Without Losing Love 24:50 – How to Choose Yourself Safely 28:05 – The Fusion Check (Real-Time Tool) Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Can you answer simple questions about yourself anymore?

0:02.2

What do you want for dinner?

0:03.7

What you do this weekend if they weren't a factor? You stopped having opinions, preferences, and a life outside of their reaction to you. And you might have called it love. You might have called it being compromising. You might have called it being a good partner. But yourself abandoning. Hello, hello, hello! Welcome to another episode of the Sabrina Zohar show. My name is Sabrina Zohar, and I am your host.

0:22.9

Hi, friends.

0:23.7

Welcome back.

0:24.4

It's from... Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to another episode of the Sabrina Zohar Show. My name is Sabrina Zohar,

0:21.2

and I am your host. Hi, friends. Welcome back. It's Friday. And it's also pre-valentine's day, or whenever you're listening to this. And today we're going to talk about, look, what does it mean to choose yourself? What does it mean to show up for yourself? And how do you stop truly self-abandoning. And at the end, as always, we have our tool of the week,

0:38.6

which is the fusion check at the end, as always,

0:37.6

we have our tool of the week, which is the fusion check at the end. Guys, please don't forget,

0:41.6

rate and review the show. Please, please leave a comment. It doesn't matter, even if it's just a heart, share it with a friend and just let anybody know about the show. It means the world. If you guys want anything, you've got the link in bio. You can work one-on-one. You can get ad-free if that's a

0:54.2

preference for you. And as always, you guys can slow the show down. I totally get that my speech might not be for everybody. And if that's the case, you do have some control over it. And I want you to know that. All right, babes, without further ado, let's get right on into it, shall we? Hey, friends.

1:08.4

This is a really special episode to me, and because it's something that I've personally really been exploring in therapy.

1:14.1

I... Shall we? Hey, friends. Ah, this is a really special episode to me. And because it's something that I've

1:12.0

personally really been exploring in therapy. I have been trying to understand what does it genuinely

1:17.9

mean to choose yourself and not, again, in the bubble bass and face masks of like,

1:22.2

everything's amazing and loving. I don't need you to gaslight yourself into thinking that this

1:26.8

life is something that it's just not.

1:28.5

But what I do want us to say is like, how can we be comfortable to choose ourselves? What does that genuinely mean? And what is self-abandonment? Because, you know, we talked about this on different episodes. If you're new here, by the way, welcome. And if you're coming back, welcome back. As always, you know, we have so many new people coming into the ecosystem and into our family,

1:46.8

so some things might be repeated. here, by the way, welcome. And if you're coming back, welcome back. As always, you know, we have so many

1:44.4

new people coming into the ecosystem and into our family, so some things might be repeated.

1:48.6

But I do my best to try to keep evolving the show so that we can continue on having these

1:52.9

conversations. But I think for me personally, I genuinely couldn't fathom what it meant to choose

...

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