188: I Don't Trust My Husband

The Empowered Wife Podcast: Marriage Help with Laura Doyle

Laura Doyle

Trustedrelationshipexpert, Narcissism, Verbalabuse, Fixingmarriages, Relationships, Feelinglonely, Relationshipexpert, Alcoholabuse, Self-improvement, Angerissues, Intimacyskills, Midlifecrisis, Affairs, Fixingrelationship, Exhausted, Desired, Society & Culture, Special, Physicalabuse, Empoweredwife, Passionaterelationship, Playfulrelationship, Empoweredwives, Education, Unloved, Relationshipadvice

4.8 • 1K Ratings

🗓️ 27 June 2023

⏱️ 60 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

It’s terrible to feel like you can’t trust the man you married, whether you don’t trust him to be faithful, to take care of the kids, or to be responsible with money. It just feels bad. You don’t feel heard because if he cared, he would listen to your concerns and try to support you by doing the things you want him to do so that you could trust him. That’s depressing because if you can’t get him to straighten up, it’s pretty hopeless that you’d ever be able to trust him, especially if he keeps letting you down and reinforcing that he doesn’t deserve your trust. How’s that ever going to improve? On today’s episode of The Empowered Wife Podcast, we’re talking about what to do if you don’t trust your husband.

My guest Kelsie didn’t trust her husband, and their arguments sometimes lasted for weeks. She worried they were just one argument from divorce, something she didn’t want to go through a third time. But when she did two specific things differently on the verge of an argument, everything changed. Today she is so grateful to be married to an honorable and faithful man that she can’t stop smiling. She’s going to tell us how she did it so you can do it too!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Empowered Wife podcast where it's all about fixing your marriage without your husband's conscious effort so that you feel desired, taken care of, and special, even if your relationship feels completely hopeless.
0:22.0	I'm Laura Doyle, and today we're talking
0:24.4	about what to do when you don't trust your husband. My guest Kelsey didn't trust
0:29.1	her husband and their arguments sometimes lasted for weeks.
0:33.2	She worried they were just one argument from divorce.
0:37.0	And she didn't want to go through that a third time.
0:40.3	When she did two specific things differently on the verge of an argument,
0:45.0	everything changed. Today she is so grateful to be married to an honorable and faithful man that she can't stop smiling.
0:54.0	She's going to tell us how she did it so you can do it too.
0:57.0	But first, let's talk about what to do if you don't trust your husband.
1:01.0	It's terrible to feel like you can't trust the man you married, whether it's that you don't trust him to be faithful, to take care of the kids, or maybe to be responsible with money.
1:10.0	It just feels bad. It means that you don't feel heard and you don't feel seen because if he was
1:18.0	listening and he cared, then he would listen to your concerns and try to support you by doing the things that you want him to do so that you could trust him.
1:28.0	And that's depressing because if you can't get him to straighten up,
1:32.0	well it's pretty hopeless that you'd ever be able to trust him,
1:35.4	especially if he keeps letting you down and reinforcing that he doesn't deserve your trust.
1:41.8	How is that ever going to improve, right? But what if, instead of asking
1:47.1	him to do things so that you can trust him, you turn the whole thing on its head by deciding to trust him first.
1:55.0	I know that sounds crazy especially if you have evidence that he doesn't deserve your trust but another way to think of trust is something you decide to give.
2:06.4	And what's counterintuitive, but also exciting about that is that people tend to rise to your expectations of them.
2:16.0	So when you demonstrate that you have faith in them,
2:19.0	they feel the full weight of the responsibility on their shoulders
	...

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